47 sparksChapter 1: Memorized
I think he's toddler-aged in most of this. Between three and eight, anyways.
M'ren: I did it! I mem-ohriz-ed my textbook, I'm going to ace this test!
Minion: Okay, Sir, just one more question before you go — what ended in 1918?
M'ren: 1917.
Minion: ...You're ready.
Warden: I'm not sure whether to laugh or be worried.
Chapter 2: Mwahahaha
Inmate Otto: Hey, kid, watcha' got there?
M'ren: [holds up steak knife] Pointy!
Inmate Otto: Okay, have fu–
Warden and Minion, in unison: NO!
Chapter 3: Found Family
M'ren: Thanks, dad.
M'ren: ...why is everyone staring at me more than usual?
Minion: Sir, you just called the Warden 'dad'. You said 'thanks, dad'.
M'ren: What? No, I didn't — I said 'thanks, man'.
Warden, sincerely touched: Do you see me as a father figure, kid?
M'ren: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me.
Inmate Leroy: Hey, show your father some respect!
Chapter 4: Tell Me This Didn't Happen (I DARE YOU)
//One of M'ren's first days at school, during recess
M'ren, with his hands cupped together: I found a cool spee-ider!
Minion: Oh? Let me see, Sir.
M'ren, opening his empty hands: ...huh.
Wayne: Where's the spider?
M'ren: [looks troubled and stares at his hands]
Minion: Oh no.
Wayne: Blue, where's the spider?
Teacher, running out of the school building: WHY IS THERE A TARANTULA IN MY DESK?!
Chapter 5: My Favorite
Warden: Damn, the power went out.
M'ren: Don't worry, I got this!
M'ren: [vibrates quickly and starts to emit light]
Warden: How are you doing that?
M'ren: I ate a diphenyl oxalate tube.
Minion: Sir, I'm naturally bioluminescent, you didn't have to–
Warden, googling 'diphenyl oxalate': YOU ATE A GLOW STICK?!
Chapter 6: Blatant Favoritism
//At school
M'ren: Why is Teacher making me clean the chalk brushes again? You haven't cleaned them in a week, Wayne!
Wayne: That's because I'm her favorite.
M'ren, coughing because of chalk dust: I hate you.
Chapter 7: Shipper On Deck (Throw Him Overboard)
M'ren, watching two inmates from afar: Two bros, chillin' in a prison. Five feet apart because they think they aren't gay, but they REALLY ARE–
Minion: Sir, how many times do I have to ask you to stop shipping our uncles?
Minion: It's getting creepy...
Chapter 8: Uno!
//Several inmates and M'ren are playing poker. M'ren is winning by a long shot.
Inmate Leroy: Aw, come on.
Inmate Otto: It’s not fair! The kid doesn't even know what we’re playing!
M'ren: Go Fish?
Chapter 9: Troublemaker
Warden: What's the matter, Blue?
M'ren: The shool is having a talent show, but Wayne says my only talent is being stress.
Warden: Do you mean stressed?
M'ren: No.
Chapter 10: Lights Out
Warden: Okay, do you understand the rules of the game?
M'ren: Yep!
Warden: Truth or dare?
M'ren: Truth!
Warden: How many hours did you sleep this week?
M'ren: Dare.
Warden: Go to sleep.
M'ren: ...I don't like this game.
Minion: I do!
Chapter 11: Extinct
This probably only makes sense in my head. I sorta have a mental redesign of him that includes a long tail and clawed feet that make him a digitigrade. And he has slightly-glowing purple/dark blue markings along his head... I'm going to try to draw him soon, but no promises :/
Fun fact: dinosaurs literally aren't extinct, birds are officially recognized as the last living lineage of dinosaurs, not just as having evolved from dinosaurs.
//In school
Wayne: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Blue's right over there.
M'ren: That doesn't even make sense!
Wayne: Your face doesn't make sense!
Wayne, smirking: Or, at least, your head doesn't.
Other kids: [laugh]
Chapter 12: Rick And Roll!
Inmate Leroy: ♪Never gonna make you cry!♪
Inmate Otto: ♪Never gonna say goodbye!♪
Inmate Leroy: ♪Never gonna tell a lie—♪
M'ren, sleep-deprived and trying to study for finals: I will hurt you.
Inmates Leroy and Otto: ...
Inmate Jeff: ♪Never gonn–♪
Guard Larry: One more word and I'm teaching the kid 'The Song That Never Ends.'
Chapter 13: Three Kids In A Trenchcoat
M'ren: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.
Minion: Like Uncle Larry when he lets us watch things on his phone.
Guard Larry: Hey! You liked Jaws!
Warden: Wait, you showed them what, now?
Chapter 14: Day Off
Warden: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
M'ren: Mine just says 'Blue, no' and 'ask Minion first'.
Warden: I want you to apply at least one of them to every possible situation.
Chapter 15: Schools Are Evil :(
M'ren: I’m totally useless.
Teacher: No-one is totally useless.
Teacher: You can be used as a bad example.
Chapter 16: Manhunt
M'ren: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.
Wayne: Don't you live in jail?
Minion: We got back just in time for the start of the manhunt.
M'ren: It was so cool, I got to dismantle a helicopter!
Wayne: ...
Wayne: How were you only grounded for a week?!
M'ren, pouting: Because the Warden is a tyrant.
Chapter 17: Codeword: Hijinks
M'ren: Hey, Warden?
Warden: Yeah, kid?
M'ren: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Warden: ...
Warden: Where’s Minion?
Chapter 18: Grounded For A Month
I almost did this with Roxanne and Megamind instead... Did I make the right choice?
Warden: Is that a gun?!
M'ren: It's not what it looks like!
Warden: It looks like a gun!
M'ren: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like. But in my defense, it ran out of bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.
Warden: ...ANYMORE?!
Chapter 19: First Halloween
M'ren: Boo! Boo, I say!
Warden: Blue?
M'ren: Oh, I am not Blue. I am the scariest thing known to mankind — a failed math test!
Warden: Yeah, okay… I’m just gonna go do my paperwork now…
M'ren: You can run, but it won’t be to the college of your choice!
Chapter 20: Aftermath
Warden: Kid, what did you just do!?
M'ren: I took your advice. I stopped running from the problem and I tackled it head on.
Warden: I meant try emotional honesty, not glitterbombing your school!
Chapter 21: Cue Laser Trike
M'ren: I wonder if Uncle Otto would be willing to teach me how to escape my cell?
Warden: What are you talking about, kid? You love it here!
M'ren: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
Warden: ...
Warden, to inmates: How many times do I have to tell you guys that psychology textbooks aren't appropriate reading for a three-year-old?!
Chapter 22: Minion Is Wise
I wonder how Megamind's life might've gone differently if he'd been homeschooled?
Minion: Maybe letting Sir attend school isn't the best idea.
Warden: Why? Do you think he'll run off or something?
Minion: No, it's not that. But there might be some trouble.
Warden: Minion, it'll be fine. I think Blue's trustworthy enough for this.
Minion: It’s not that I don’t trust Sir!
Minion: I just... don’t trust his impulse control.
Chapter 23: Nerd Diss
M'ren: Hey, you want a tarot reading?
Wayne: Those are Pokemon cards.
M'ren: You got a magikarp.
Wayne: ...
M'ren: It means 'fuck you'.
Chapter 24: Bully For You
M'ren: Do you have a second to talk about–?
Wayne: Do you have a second to eat my farts?
Chapter 25: M'ren Is Horrible (At Swearing)
M'ren: Uncle, we're learning about colors in shool, and I have to know for science; is the opposite of red green or blue?
Inmate Jeff: Uh, technically a mix of green and blue?
M'ren: So blurple.
Inmate Jeff: Well, no, that's implying you're mixing blue and purple.
M'ren: Would you rather have fudging bleen? APPLELOVING GRUE?!
Inmate Jeff: ...
Inmate Jeff: You were confusing before, kid, but now I'm actually a little scared...
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Comments carried over from AO3 (10)
These were left on the original AO3 posting and are shown as they appeared there.
Hell yes 😂
You made the right choice
Glad you like it! 😊
😂😂❤️❤️
Glad you liked it. 😁
M'ren is super creative
oh boy
i hate that teacher
technically stockholm syndrome isn't an actual diagnosis-
the opposite of red is green, the opposite of blue is orange, the opposite of YELLOW is purple
Yeah go Minion! :3
Good news! A person can absolutely breathe in a washing machine!
Source - just ask Bernard.
"Warden: Is that a gun?!
M'ren: It's not what it looks like!
Warden: It looks like a gun!
M'ren: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like. But in my defense, it ran out of bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.
Warden: ...ANYMORE?!"
All were fun but this was my favourite by a lot🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm glad you enjoyed 😊
My responses to your comments may be getting a little repetitive, but I honestly do appreciate all of them and am glad you enjoyed so many of my stories so much 😁
I'm so happy that these comments made you happy🥰
You are contributing so much to so many fandoms, on top of that, your writing skills are exceptional, you deserve all the praises!❤️
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