102 sparksChapter 1: Bright Side
Aviva: Zach? When did you become a hero?
Zach: I don't really know... the moment I saved you from getting killed, I guess?
Aviva: You’re the last person on earth I wanted to rescue me.
Zach: Look on the bright side; it could've been worse.
Aviva: Really? How?
Zach: I could've been Gourmand.
Aviva: [eyes widen in horror]
Aviva, hugging Zach: Mi héroe!
Chapter 2: Happy Holidays :)
Aviva: Christmas lights?
Martin: Check.
Jimmy Z: Hot cocoa?
Martin: Check.
Koki: Santa hats?
Martin: Check.
Chris: Shovel?
Martin: Check.
Zach: Alibi and bail money?
Martin: Check– wait, what?! What are you–
Chris and Zach, in unison: Nothing~
Chapter 3: Nerd Bonding
Zach: Who are you?
Jimmy Z: Oh, hi, I’m Jimmy.
Zach: Right, I’ve heard about you from the other Wild Rats.
Zach: You're, uh, their pilot or something..?
Jimmy Z: Sorta.
Jimmy Z: I’m more their Neelix.
Zach: What?
Jimmy Z: You know, like from Voyager?
Jimmy Z: Chef, moral officer, odd-jobs-man...
Zach: ...
Zach: Huh, I think I might actually be able to tolerate you.
Jimmy Z: Thanks! :)
Chapter 4: I Want To See This Happen SO MUCH
Donita: I suppose you’re right. We really would be better off working together.
Aviva: So, then… détente?
Donita: Agreed. Understanding?
Aviva: Possibly. Cooperation?
Donita: Maybe. Trust?
Aviva: Absolutely out of the question.
Donita, nodding: Fantastic. Let's get this shit started, then.
Zach: ...I've had nightmares that started like this.
Chapter 5: Aftermath Of Last Chapter
Donita, to Aviva: I'd make fun of your height, dear, but there simply isn't enough to make fun of.
Chapter 6: This One's Kinda Stupid, Sorry
My attempt to soften a quote that involved murdering puppies... Yeah, not my best work.
Martin: You’re not gonna use the Pose Beam on me, are you, Donita!?
Donita: Yeah, and use you as a model. Why?
Chapter 7: Yeah, I've Read WAY Too Much Megamind
Jimmy Z: H-how do you ask someone out?
Zach: Well, first–
Chris: Don't ask him, he 'asked me out' by having the Zachbots kidnap me.
Jimmy Z: And you still said yes?!
Chris: Well, I mean, he did have them give me flowers...
Chapter 8: Ran Out Of Coffee/Too Much Coffee
Donita: Today, Zachary took my phone, and in five minutes, he sent high resolution close-up photos of Dabio 'flipping the bird' to the following people: Gourmand, my mother, the Wild Rats, five clients, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.
Gourmand: That still doesn't why he's late to the plot.
Donita, smirking evilly: Trust me, Darling, it does.
Chapter 9: Can't Decide Whether Or Not To Swap The Last Two
/when a child starts crying in public
Martin: [tries to make the child laugh]
Dabio: [tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down]
Aviva: [gives detailed instructions to the parents]
Jimmy Z: [cries with the child]
Gourmand: [ignores the child]
Zachbots: [are the reason why the child is crying]
Chapter 10: Enemy Mines Are Gun (Don't You Mean Fun?) No
Gourmand: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
Martin: ...Don’t you mean benevolence?
Gourmand: No. [cocks giant dart gun]
Chapter 11: My Headcanon That These Two Are Texting Buddies Lives On
(Aviva)
{Time freezes for everyone but you for one day, what do you do?}
(Zach)
{I’d mildly trouble everyone}
(Aviva)
{Examples?}
(Zach)
{I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every beard I saw}
{I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working}
{I’d make every wing on people's eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one}
{I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together}
{And then, lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag.}
(Aviva)
{Remind me to never allow you to have that kind of power.}
(Zach)
{What makes you think I don't already?}
(Aviva):
{Wut}
(Zach)
{ >:) (:< }
Chapter 12: As Does My Jimmy Is An Alien Headcanon!
Chris: Today at 7 am, Zach poured an energy drink into his coffee, said 'I'm going to explode', and drank the whole thing.
Aviva: I once watched Zach brew his coffee with energy drinks instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.
Jimmy Z: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.
Chapter 13: X
Actually, It's a GPS Tracker...
Zach: So you and Blue Boy, huh?
Aviva: What? No! I’m just buying him an accessory since he has terrible fashion sense.
Zach: That’s literally a wedding ring.
Chapter 14: I'm Too Obsessed With Zach, Aren't I?
Aviva, to Zach: Do you still know any Spanish?
Zach: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.
Aviva: You just told me you're pregnant.
Jimmy Z: Congratulations, Zach; you're glowing!
Chapter 15: Violence Woke Up And Chose Gourmand
Would this have been funnier with a pan instead? 🤔
Gourmand: My bad, It’s a knee jerk response.
Chris, holding Martin's unconscious body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS IT TO HIT SOMEONE WITH A ROLLING PIN???
Chapter 16: ♪Shippy Shippy Ship-Ship♪
Zach, pretending to joke: So, when are you going to go out with me?
Chris: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?
Donita: And you just ran away?!
Zach: I didn't expect him to flirt back!
Chapter 17: Zach & Gourmand Is One Of My Favorite Dynamics
Zach, pointing to Chris and Martin: Distract them! I'll be right back! [leaves]
Gourmand: Got it.
//five minutes later//
Zach, returning with a platoon of Zachbots: [sees Chris and Martin unconscious on the ground] What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out! We need them awake for the plan!
Gourmand: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.
Zach, nudging Chris with his toe: They, they are just unconscious, r-right..?
Gourmand: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Chapter 18: Slightly Sexual Humor
Martin, pointing to Chris's Shirt: I like your top, Bro!
Zach: I have a name, you know.
Chris: [sighs] Why? Why are you like this?
Zach: ...It's funny?
Chapter 19: Getting Bored, Can't Name Things
Zach: Hey, Aviva! Do you wanna go celebrate with me?
Aviva: Zach, you know I can't be seen in public with you.
Zach: Okay, a simple 'no' would have been fine.
Chapter 20: Catching Up Via Text
(Zach)
{So what have you been up to recently?}
(Aviva)
{Leading an environmental revolution with the Kratts}
{You?}
(Zach)
{Good for you!}
{I've joined the mob}
{Well, sorta the mob. But with more cackling and less common sense}
(Aviva)
{Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Perfect for you}
(Zach)
{I know, right!? Anyway, have you heard from the others? Gamer Guy?}
(Aviva)
{Jimmy's happily living as a hermit in the woods}
{Gourmand?}
(Zach)
{Rightfully locked up in an asylum}
{Which reminds me, I need to break him out later}
{Orange Lady?}
(Aviva)
{Koki? Cult leader.}
(Zach)
{No kidding? So's Donita!}
(Aviva)
{Ha! Small world!}
Chapter 21: \_(°.°)_/ IDK
Gourmand: Who would you swipe right for? Aviva or Dabio?
Zach: I would delete the app.
Chapter 22: Friend Of Yours?
Chris, talking about Gourmand: Is this a friend of yours, Zach?
Zach: Kind of? I mean, not really...
Gourmand: More like we're in each other's lives and there's nothing we can do about it.
Chapter 23: Butterfly Meme: Is This Bonding?
Gourmand: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'merci' is all I need.
Gourmand: Not all this 'how did you get into my house' business.
Chris: ...
Chris: ZACH! COME DEAL WITH YOUR CRAZY FRIEND!
Chapter 24: I Have A Permit
The Bros: Let those animals go!
Donita: Don’t worry, I have a permit. [snaps fingers]
Dabio: [hands over piece of paper]
Koki: ...This just says 'Fashion knows no limits'.
Chapter 25: We're Getting Farther And Farther Away From Believable, Aren't We?
Aviva: Wait. Where's Zach? He'd love Dungeons and Dragons.
Jimmy Z: I thought you invited him.
Aviva: Uh, I thought Chris invited him?
Chris: I thought Martin invited him.
Martin: I would never invite him.
Chapter 26: Telling Huge Secrets To Your Enemies (So You Can Practice Telling Your Friends)
Jimmy Z: You guys actually believe I'm an alien?
Donita: It's not the weirdest thing I've heard about you. Honestly, Darling, I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
Zach, Gourmand, & Dabio: [nod in agreement]
Chapter 27: Flat Earthers Around The World
That's it for this fic. Tomorrow is the very last of the series, so come back then! :)
Chris: Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat.
Aviva: [seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther]
Jimmy Z: [doesn't know what the Flat Earth Theory is, falls down rabbit hole when he tries to search it]
Zach: [doesn't care but makes polls to start fights for fun, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!"]
Martin: [one of the ones fighting in polls' comment sections]
Koki: [not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets]
Donita: [real view unknown, makes themed dresses for both sides on Earth Day]
Dabio: [actual flat-earther]
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