Fearsome Fools

Chapter 1: Incorrect Quotes

GROUP CHAT 'FEARSOME FOOLS' HAS BEEN CREATED

(Flud2.0)

[First one to reply is gat]

[*gay]

[Wait...]

(Chuckles)

[megsy is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips what should I do]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Punch him in the stomach]

[Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.]

(Reggie)

[Who does something like that???]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Well, it works for me melonhead]

(Reggie)

[How about he just tackles him to the ground and kisses him?]

[I mean, with the way he hugs, that's going to happen anyways]

(Flud2.0)

[At this point, if it's this difficult, you might as well just dump him]

[Or kick him in the shin]

(Reggie)

[Why would that help?]

(Flud2.0)

[It would help with my boredom]

(!NotSparky!)

[No to all of these! Just ask me to lean down!!]

(Flud2.0)

[LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!]

(Reggie)

[And here we have a capitalist.]

(Chuckles)

[did u just-]

(!NotSparky!)

[Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of hifar history, hifar language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.]

(Chuckles)

[u fuckers dont no about my knife stick]

[itsa knife taped to a stick n its the ultimte weapon]

(!NotSparky!)

[So it's a spear]

(Chuckles)

[no its a knife stick]

(!NotSparky!)

[Sure sounds like a spear]

CHUCKLES HAS BLOCKED !NOTSPARKY!

(Chuckles)

[PLS EXPLAIN WHAT UPSEXY IS!]

(Reggie)

[Could you rephrase the question, in like, two words maybe?]

(Flud2.0)

[Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.]

(!NotSparky!)

[That's the truest statement I've ever read.]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[All in favor of deleting the chat?]

(Reggie)

[Ay]

(Chuckles)

[dont u DARE]

(!NotSparky!)

[You ever get so tired that you start seeing spiders?]

(Chuckles)

[me after I start seeingthe hat man again]

(Reggie)

[THE WHO?]

(Chuckles)

[oh is this not a safe space suddenly]

(Chuckles)

[being gay isnt a choice]

[its a game and Im winning]

(!NotSparky!)

[Wait you're gay?]

(Chuckles)

[...sparky ur my boyfriend...]

(!NotSparky!)

[DON'T CALL ME SPARKY!!!]

[Wait I am???]

(Chuckles)

[cn some1 go to sparkys hideout i dont trust him alone when hes like tis]

(Reggie)

[Be there in 5]

(Chuckles)

[thanks melonbrrath]

(Reggie)

[I've got your back, Jack :)]

(Reggie)

[Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest forms of love in the world.]

(Chuckles)

[unless ur home alone]

(Chuckles)

[tomorrows the Cooking Contest]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[And we care because..?]

(Chuckles)

[Mr Banana Brain always tells me 1 ting everyyear. he says, “You might win if you’d stop eating your entry!”]

[but how would i know whether its an awardwinning dish without tasting it first]

[this may be problem Hifarkind will have to grapple with 4 eternity…]

(!NotSparky!)

[Quackie, were fugitives]

[You can't enter the contest anyways!]

[*we're]

(Chuckles)

[oh]

[problem solved then!]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Didn't I say to delete this chat?]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Bushroot]

(Reggie)

[In my defense, how was I supposed to know that my Metal Munching Marigolds would find your weapons collection?]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[You are very lucky I no longer have a chainsaw]

(!NotSparky!)

[Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad]

(Chuckles)

[yhats deep]

[Mr B — "Which means that ketchup is a smoothie, Rudie."]

(!NotSparky!)

[That's deeper]

(Flud2.0)

[Buy now, for a limited time only; ketchup brand smoothies!]

(Reggie)

[You guys are idiots.]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Finally spmeone agrees with me]

(Chuckles)

[did you win or justnot die¿]

(!NotSparky!)

[Either way, hooray.]

(Reggie)

[...Is 'no' a valid answer?]

(!NotSparky!)

[The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.]

(Reggie)

[Fair]

(Reggie)

[Newtwegia.]

[Is.]

[Not.]

[A.]

[COUNTRY!!!]

(NotSparky)

[Then where are Newtwegian people from????]

(Reggie)

[NEWTWAY!!]

(Flud2.0)

[Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.]

[NONE.]

(Chuckles)

[i got spring water]

(Flud2.0)

[NO!]

(Chuckles)

[with EXTRA minerals!]

[its like licking a stalagmite!]

(Flud2.0)

[DON’T COME HOME!]

(Chuckles)

[mmmmmm, cave water]

(!NotSparky!)

[Help, I think the others got replaced!]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Ask me if I care]

(!NotSparky!)

[Do you  are?]

[*care]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[✨No✨ :)]

(!NotSparky!)

[I think the replacements are from the Negaverse!]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Aw cluck not this shit again]

[I came to this universe to get AWAY from those freaks!]

(Reggie)

[And then you immediately found new freaks -- us - to attach yourself to?]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Shut up]

[Wait weren't you replaced?]

(Reggie)

[What?]

[Oh! No, that was just an April Fool's prank QJ played on Megs]

(Chuckles)

[was it? or is this the prank?]

[dundundun!]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Okay, okay, so I immediately found new freaks to attach myself to...]

[Wait am I the problem???]

(Flud2.0)

[Polls are trending towards 'yes']

(YourLordAndMaster)

[No, society is to blame]

(!NotSparky!)

[Quackie you asshole, I just saw a calendar]

(Chuckles)

[4 th 5th time today]

(!NotSparky?)

[CLUCK YOU]

(Chuckles)

[lov u 2 😘]

(!NotSparky!)

[You remember that little trip we went on?]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[I remember you guys promising to not bother me for a week]

(!NotSparky!)

[Yeah, that one!]

[Anuways, we might have gotten into a bar room brawl]

[*anywys]

[*nyways]

[*ANYWAYS]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Well that was entirely predictable]

(!NotSparky!)

[One of the others punched a gang member]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Chuckles?]

(!NotSparky!)

[Bushy actually]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[That was going to be my second guess]

(Reggie)

[I HAVE NO REGRETS]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Why os MA BEAGLE leabing me angry voicemails?!]

[You didn't say you challenged the clucking Beagle Boys!]

(Reggie)

[I have some regrets]

(Flud2.0)

[We were going yo my family reunion, wjat other gang would we have run into?]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[SHE'S THREATENING TO LAUNCH AN ATTACK ON ST CANARD WHAT YGE CLUCK DID YOU DO]

(Chuckles)

[wait are uou actually SCARED???]

(YourLordAndMaster)

[Do you KNOW how many kids she has???]

[We aren't prepared for an army like ygat!!!!]