Good Vs... More Quirky Than Evil, Really

Chapter 1: Exactly What Happened When Fenton First Became Gizmoduck

Gizmoduck, to Beagle Boys: I've got dozens of weapons, and I'm... admittedly VERY afraid to use them!

Chapter 2: Scientific Accuracy

Honker: Actually, the dinosaurs didn’t rule Terra, they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have.

Dr Fossil: You... you do realize I'm pointing a raygun at your face, right..?

Honker: If you're going to threaten me, get your facts straight.

Chapter 3: My Favorite Out Of All Of These

Magica De Spell: You dare?!

Morgana: Oh, of course not, dear!

Morgana, hexing her: A dare requires a challenge.

Chapter 4: An Homage To My Favorite Piece Of Cover Art

//Darkwing and Fenton are dangling over a pit of glowing acid, the Gizmoduck suit is nowhere to be seen\\

Fenton: Remember when I said I’d tell you when we’re in too deep?

Darkwing: Yes..?

Fenton: We’re in too deep.

Darkwing, scoffing: Oh, please! This is just a normal Tuesday for me.

//Guns, flamethrowers, chainsaws, and other weapons suddenly appear out of the shadows, all pointing directly at them\\

Fenton: Uh, Wingy?

Darkwing, unfazed: Okay, so which one of you bozos wants to surrender first?

Chapter 5: Unexpected Alliances

Drake, answering his door: Hel– NEGADUCK??

Negaduck, storming in: My knobs went to work for Steelbeak!

Drake, confused: W-what?

Negaduck: Steelbeak is taking credit for their work, getting them to deal with everything, and threatening them! Ya know what he sounds like?

Drake: You?

Negaduck: No! I mean... Ya know them. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in.

Negaduck: And Steelbeak is taking advantage of their weakness, using their mental issues against them! Ya know what that’s called?

Drake: A Negaduck?

Negaduck: ...okay, yes, but I’m the only one allowed to treat my minions that way!

Negaduck: Now get yer suit on, Dipwing, we have a FOWL operation to stop.

Drake: When did I agree to that?

Negaduck, faux casual: Funny, it's almost as if you think your agreement is relevant.

Chapter 6: Drake And Elmo Are Catching Up, Drake Knows Elmo's Megavolt, Elmo Does Not Know That Drake's Darkwing

Elmo: So, what have you been up to recently?

Drake: Flying lessons with Lau– a friend. I'm actually starting to get the hang of it, I think.

Elmo: Good for you! Me, I've joined the mob... sorta. More chainsaws and toys than the mob usually has, I guess, but what can you do?

Drake, hesitantly: Oh, how cool...

Elmo, oblivious: I know! Anyway, have you heard from any of the others?

Drake: Ham and Preena were on their fifth divorce, last I heard. How about your friend, Jack wasn't it?

Elmo: Rightfully locked up in an asylum. Which reminds me, I need to break him out later...

Drake: [makes mental note to stop him later]

Elmo: Don't you have a kid now? How's she doing?

Gosalyn: [recently started a cult]

Drake: Oh, you know, normal kid stuff.

Chapter 7: During The Frequency Fiends

Darkwing: –and that’s why we needed to get an expert.

Megavolt: Oh, really? Who did you get?

Darkwing: [stares and reconsiders his life choices]

Megavolt: Oh! Right, that’s me… Yes.

Chapter 8: Slushies

Darkwing: Why are your tongues purple?

Megavolt: We stole slushies. I had a blue one.

Quackerjack: I had a red one.

Darkwing: Oh...

Darkwing: OH.

Launchpad: You drank each other's slushies?

Quackerjack: [dramatic gasp] Share my slushie??! Never!

Darkwing: [facepalm]

Chapter 9: I Love Him, But It's True

Bushroot: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Darkwing: Your moral compass is a ROULETTE WHEEL!

Bushroot: Your point being..?

Chapter 10: I Like To Reimagine Claire As Quackerjack's Unofficial Therapist. They Met In A Psychology Class In College

Megavolt: So Quackie's therapist friend was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.

Megavolt: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall.

Megavolt, looking directly at Reader: Hi there. I use humor as a coping mecha–

Darkwing, hand around Megavolt's snout: Don't you dare! Last time you played around with the fourth wall, I was trapped in a land of furless apes!

Megavolt, struggling free: Why are you blaming me?! It's not like I built the remote that sent us there!

Darkwing: ...

Darkwing: YES YOU DID

Megavolt: Oh, right.

Chapter 11: Pep Talk

Bushroot, crying: I'm just a pathetic, unwanted weed! I’m completely useless!

Darkwing, who always feels a little bad for Bushroot despite his villain status: You’re not completely useless.

Bushroot, hopeful: Really?

Darkwing: Yeah, you, uh, you...

Darkwing: You have your weirdly sincere humility!

Bushroot: I prefer the term 'self-loathing', actually.

Darkwing: ...

Darkwing: Well, you're smart. Brilliant, even!

Bushroot: I accidentally turned myself into a plant.

Darkwing: Right, I forgot about that...

Darkwing: You... can be used as a bad example?

Bushroot: That... Isn't wrong, actually...

Darkwing: That's something at least, right?

Bushroot: Yeah, yeah. I guess...

Darkwing: ...

Bushroot: ...

Darkwing: ...I'm bad at this, aren't I?

Bushroot: I probably would've felt better if you'd skipped the pep talk and just immediately tried to arrest me, yes.

Bushroot: The thought is appreciated, though. Sort of. A little.

Darkwing: ...okay, that's it, no more talking. Let's just get to fighting already.

Bushroot: Oh thank Ivia.

Chapter 12: Reluctantly Working Together To Stop A Mutual Enemy

Negaduck: Hand me the people opener.

Darkwing: ...

Darkwing: Pardon?

Negaduck, annoyed: Ya waitin' for a 'please'? Come on, Dorkwing, just hand it to me!

Darkwing, stressed: WHAT THE CLUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER!?

Negaduck: How d'ya not know what a people opener is? Its pointy, ya know? With a handle?

Darkwing, eye twitching: Knife. It's called a knife.

Negaduck: No, I'm pretty sure knives are what Lynn uses to spread jam on her toast.

Darkwing: 'What Lynn uses'? What do you use..?

Negaduck, who uses a spoon: The barrel of my gun, why?

Darkwing: [scream of frustration]

Megavolt: How'd working with Dipwing go?

Negaduck: More fun than I thought it would be, actually.

Chapter 13: Cameo Time!

Splatter Phoenix: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Camille Chameleon: But they ssssaid not to touch the masssterpiecccessss!

Splatter Phoenix: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Security Guard, on a walkie talkie, exasperated: This is Larry, those idiots are clucking around in the East wing again.

Chapter 14: Totally How DNA Works, Definitely, 100%

//Darkwing is chasing Megavolt across the upper area of a mall, next to those railing things surrounding a large hole that lets you look at the lower section\\

Darkwing: Come back here, evildoer! Surrender before the might of the law!

Megavolt: The 'law'!? You're here after hours too, Dipwi– yaaagh! [falls over railing]

Darkwing: Megavolt!

Darkwing: ...Megavolt?

Megavolt, hanging upside down from the railing by his tail: [confused] Uhh...

Megavolt: [snaps fingers] Oh, right! I'm one quarter opossum!

Darkwing: You're what???

Megavolt: One quarter opossum. Or was that possum? I always get those two confused...

Darkwing: ...

Megavolt: Can you help me up, please?

Darkwing: [facepalms]

Chapter 15: The Paddywhack Saga

Quackerjack, to Paddywhack: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Darkwing: We’re not friends.

Quackerjack, holding a giant hammer: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence!

//exactly how that episode went\\

Launchpad, throwing out the haunted jack-in-the-box: I'm really not superstitious. [turns to see the box back on a table]

Launchpad: But maybe I am a little stitious...

Paddywhack: Sssome people sssaaay that I have a god complex. I’d like to think that I’m a coooomplex god.

Quackerjack: I'd like to think that you're a bad dream.

Paddywhack: Morrrtals are fun.

Paddywhack: You can do it, doooll!

Paddywhack: But if you caaan't, at leassst yourrr death will be ssslooow, painful, and rrreally cool to waaatch.

Quackerjack, unwillingly playing lava-hopscotch: Have I mentioned how much I hate you?!

Paddywhack: Being a Misery Spirrrit isn't a chooooice.

Paddywhack: It'sss a gaaaame and I'm winning!

Quackerjack: Unfortunately.

Darkwing, to Fearsome Five: I hate to say this, but we have to work together if we want to make it out of this. I can't do it without you guys. Truce?

Quackerjack: Yes, definitely, we're helping, everyone else shut up I am not facing that bastard alone again.

Darkwing: Okaaaay, maybe someone get him a paper bag to breathe into or something..? Thank you, Bushroot.

Darkwing: Guys, Paddywhack is very dangerous, unlike anything you've ever faced before. We're going to have to exercise extreme caution–

Darkwing: NEGADUCK, CHAINSAWS DO NOT WORK AGAINST DEMONS. Put it down, all you're doing is scaring Quackerjack worse!

Negaduck: I have yet to encounter a problem where a chainsaw didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

Negaduck, revving his chainsaw: I'd like to see how that Paddywhatzit does against ol' Bertha here.

Darkwing: Negaduck–

Bushroot: Actually, he might be on to something.

Darkwing: He is?

Negaduck, simultaneously: I am?

Negaduck: I mean, of course I am!

Bushroot: Let Negaduck go at him full force. Boss, you can even bring out that new missile launcher you've been wanting to play with!

Bushroot: And while you do that, the rest of us can escape and live!

Everyone, staring at Bushroot: ...

Negaduck, sighing: So y're still upset about that little fire thing, huh?

Bushroot, shrugging: Yeah, a bit.

Darkwing: It's over, we won.

Fearsome Four: [frantically point at the unholy fusion between Negaduck and Paddywhack behind him]

Darkwing: Nope. We won.

Darkwing: I'm not turning around and looking at it. We won.

Chapter 16: During Twin Beaks

Darkwing: Didn't you die?!

Bushroot: That was weeks ago, Dipwing. Things change.

Bushroot: Now do you want to help the alien cows fight the plant monsters replacing everybody or not?

Darkwing: ...

Darkwing, head in his hands: What even is my life? I was normal at one point, I know I was, I remember it.

Bushroot: I severely doubt that.

Chapter 17: Launchpad Is A Friend To All

Quackerjack: When life gives you lemonade, make lemons! Life will be all like "whaAttT?"

Launchpad: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.

Darkwing: LP, we've talked about this — stop chitchatting with the bad guys!

Launchpad: Oops, sorry DW!

Launchpad, whispering: Text later?

Quackerjack, as close as he gets to whispering: Of course!

Chapter 18: Catching Up Part 2

Drake: So, anything new happening with you, Elmo?

Elmo: Uh... Oh! I won a new phone in a race!

Drake: Really? What kind of race lets you win a phone?

Elmo, cheerfully: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.

Drake: ...

Drake, through gritted teeth: Elmo, do you remember that little talk we had about how normal people don't speak openly about breaking laws?

Elmo: No-pe.

Drake: [takes a deep, calming breath]

Drake: Okay, let's start from the top — breaking and entering, destruction of property, and theft are all Crimes. Crimes are generally frowned upon in regular society.

Elmo: Really? Why?

Drake, who's learned better than trying to explain it to Megavolt: Because. Now, if you admit to committing Crimes around regular civilians — like the Muddlefoots, or store workers, or me (perfectly normal Drake Mallard, nothing more, don't think about it too hard) — they will call the cops.

Elmo, excited to remember something: And cops are bad!

Drake: I...

Drake, sighing: Sure, fine, let's go with that.

Drake: Now, let's try this again. Elmo, did anything interesting happen to you this week?

Elmo, cheerful: I stole a cellphone!

Drake, head in his hands: No, Elmo, no...

Chapter 19: Tutors

Gosalyn: "29-34 Give a particular ecosystem and explain how could it be protected."

Gosalyn, to Honker: Help.

Bushroot: Forests, stop cutting down trees and don't hold gender reveal parties anywhere near them.

Gosalyn: Oh, that's actually a pretty good–

Gosalyn & Honker: [slowly turn to look at Bushroot]

Bushroot, waving awkwardly: Hi.

Honker, nodding politely: Hello, Doctor Bushroot.

Gosalyn, much less politely: What do you want, fertilizer breath?

Bushroot: Well... oh, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm going to have to kidnap you. Negaduck's orders, you know how it is.

Honker: It's quite alright, we understand. But Goz is most likely going to insist on fighting back.

Gosalyn: Why yes, I will in fact insist on that.

Bushroot: Perfectly understandable, yes.

Gosalyn: [pulls out a bow and arrow while grinning]

Bushroot: ...

Bushroot: How about we just say I tried valiantly yet failed, and I leave without you hurting me? Please?

Gosalyn: Fat chance–

Honker: Goz...

Gosalyn: Oh, fine, alright. But if anyone asks, I tore you apart so badly it looked like you went through a wood chipper.

Bushroot: I doubt anyone would believe anything less. Good luck on your homework.

Gosalyn: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Gosalyn, to Honker: I hope you're proud of yourself. I could be engaged in an epic battle right now, and instead I'm finishing my homework.

Honker: I am, actually, yes. Someone has to make sure you have a chance at graduating, after all.

Gosalyn: Relax, Honk! I have like six geniuses I can go to if I need someone to do my homework– I mean, tutor me.

Bushroot, who hasn't fully left yet: I'm sorry — are you including me and the others in that???

Gosalyn, rolling her eyes: Please, like any one of you wouldn't jump at the chance to have someone listen to your ramblings for once.

Bushroot: Hey!

Honker: She isn't wrong, Doctor.

Bushroot: Well, yeah, but still...

Chapter 20: Do Different Sapient Species In The Duckverse Have Different Ranges Of Color Vision?

Quackerjack: Dorkwing, wait, hold up for a second!

Darkwing, pausing in chasing him: Huh?

Quackerjack, pointing to a wall: What color is this?

Darkwing, confused: ...Gray?

Launchpad, cheerful: Grey!

Quackerjack, turning to Megavolt: Okay, Sparky, now tell them what color you think it is.

Megavolt: DON'T CALL ME SPARKY!

Quackerjack: Just answer the question!

Megavolt, angrily muttering under his breath: Dark white.

Chapter 21: This One Ran Away From Me... Like, It Ran REALLY Far Away From Me

//Darkwing is searching through a top secret F5 hideout and finds a set of videos in Negaduck's room. He pushes play\\

Teenaged Negaduck, standing in front of a burning house: Dear Diary, today's topic — how to get away with accidentally committing arson because I forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one, deny everything.

Current Negaduck, walking in: What the cluck are ya doing here– [sees what Darkwing's watching]

Negaduck: ...

Darkwing, eye twitching: I made this exact video when I was a kid.

Negaduck: What?

Darkwing: Like, down to the word. If it wasn't for the sharp teeth, I might've thought you stole this from my house.

Negaduck, pale beneath his feathers: ...please tell me y're kidding.

Darkwing, equally pale: I'm not.

Darkwing, panicking without fully understanding why: We... We can't possibly be this similar... I know we're technically the same guy, but–

Negaduck, growling: Get this through yer thick skull, Dipwing — I am not the same as ya.

Negaduck, glaring at the video and not looking at his own face behind a purple mask: I'm going to let ya leave here without a fight, and we are never speaking of this again.

Darkwing: I–

Darkwing: [sighs] Right. Yeah. That's... for the best, probably. Right.

//Later\\

Drake, lying in bed: [whispering to himself] He's not the same as me. He's not. We aren't the same. We aren't.

Drake, scared: ...we can't be.

Chapter 22: This Actually Is More-Or-Less True, But Don't Try It At Home

Gizmoduck: You know how Launchpad has been reading that trivia book lately?

Darkwing, dodging a bolt of electricity: Kinda busy here, Giz.

Gizmoduck, ignoring him: Well, he just told me that hifar are perfectly capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth, but taking it out is a lot harder and can lead to injury.

Gizmoduck: And now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth.

Megavolt, pausing in shooting electricity at them: DON'T YOU CLUCKING DARE SUBJECT SOME POOR LIGHTBULB TO THAT!

Megavolt, suddenly a lot calmer and friendlier: Besides, it only applies to some hifar, and mostly mammals. Your beak is wide enough that there wouldn't really be problems unless you tried to stuff it down your throat or something.

Gizmoduck: Really?

Gizmoduck: ...you know, I wonder if I could–

Darkwing and Megavolt, in unison: NO

Chapter 23: Breakout

Negaduck, pointing to the empty room where Darkwing and Launchpad were tied up: YA LET THEM ESCAPE?!?

Megavolt: We were on break!

Negaduck: On what?!

Liquidator: In the state of Caliconia, 15-30 minute breaks are mandated if work hours surpass–

Negaduck: JUST GO FIND THEM, YA CLUCKING MORONS!

Chapter 24: Aquarium

Megavolt, being arrested outside an aquarium: [loud, disappointed sigh] I can't believe I almost got shorted out to see those stupid things...

Darkwing, shaking his head: Seriously Sparky, what did you think a tiger shark was?

Megavolt: DON'T CALL ME SPARKY!

Megavolt, on the verge of tears: And I don't know, but something cooler than that!

Chapter 25: An Eternal Problem

Darkwing, tired: The joy of teaming up with Megavolt. I look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.

Megavolt, upset: Why would it smell like blueberries if I can't eat it!?

Chapter 26: Highschool Days

//the first two only feature Drake\\

Drake: School sucks.

Drake's Dad: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job.

Drake: What are jobs like?

Drake's Dad: They suck.

Drake: ...

Drake: [grows up to work for himself doing what he loves and is successful because of it]

-

Drake: Mom, Ham keeps bullying me at school.

Drake's Mom: Ask your teacher for help.

//the next day…\\

Drake, to his teacher: Will you help me beat up Ham?

Elmo: Did you study for the marine biology test?

Drake: Of course I did! Listen — fish are remarkably well adapted to water. What’s more, they can swim.

Elmo: You are so lame.

Drake: [slams books down in front of Elmo]

Drake: Boil up some Mountain Dew, it’s gonna be a long night.

Elmo, checking to make sure the books aren't damaged: [annoyed] You could have said literally anything else, you know.

Drake, staring him straight in the eye: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble, may we get this report done on the double or let the school be buried in rubble.

Elmo: ...

Elmo, head in his hands: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shi– stuff. I won’t win. I realize this now.

//at lunch\\

Elmo, twitching and gripping his notebook hard enough to risk tearing it: I can't believe I got detention...

Drake: Whoa, back up. Why did you get detention?

Elmo, head on the table: Because I'm an idiot.

Drake, terrified: They can do that?!

Elmo: Sorry I'm late, teach, I was doing stuff.

Drake: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE CLUCKING STAIRS!

Drake: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you.

Elmo: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool!

Drake: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

Elmo: Oh, like you would know, dweeb?

Drake: ...

Drake: Fine, next time I'm not going to be the one to call the school nurse. Let's see how well you do on your own, shall we?

Elmo: Fine, you do that! Or, well, don't do that!

Drake: I will! Won't. Whatever!

Elmo: ...

Drake: ...

Elmo: ...Sorry.

Drake: Yeah, me too.

Elmo: Still study partners?

Drake: ...Yeah, Elmo. Always.

Chapter 27: During Stressed To Kill

Megavolt: You look really stressed.

Darkwing: [laughs like a crazy person for two full minutes]

Darkwing: Yeah, it’s the stress.

Chapter 28: Welcome To St Canard

Bushroot: [dies]

Quackerjack: Timer starts now! When is he coming back?

Mr Banana Brain: I say two months, Dunce!

Megavolt: Bullshit. One month at most.

Darkwing: Nah, half a month. He's a fighter.

Gizmoduck, who's still new to St Canard's villain scene: [sobbing] WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WINGY? WE JUST KILLED SOMEONE!!

Launchpad, scratching his chin in thought: One week.

Chapter 29: Shippy Shippy Ship Ship :D

Launchpad: Hey, Megavolt? Can I get some dating advice?

Megavolt: Just because I'm with Quackie doesn't mean I remember how I did it.

Megavolt: Hey, wait, you're interested in someone?

Launchpad: ...maybe?

Megavolt: Huh. Kinda assumed you were ace or somethin'.

Launchpad: What? Why???

Megavolt: Well, you never mentioned anybody before this. You've never even made a joke or something about it...

Megavolt: Well, nevermind that. Who is she? Is she pretty?

Launchpad: Well, not pretty in the conventional sense, really. But great eyes and really soft feathers.

Megavolt, under his breath: What is it with you birds and feathers?

Megavolt, louder: What does she like? Any special interests?

Launchpad, thinking: Uh, well... Bit of a chemistry nerd, actually, and likes to work with machines. Martial arts, reading, musicals... Oh, gardening! Big on gardening! Terrible at it, though. [chuckles fondly]

Megavolt: Sounds like you know her pretty well, huh?

Launchpad: Yeah, we're really close, I think. Best friends, at least.

Megavolt: Why do you need advice, then?

Launchpad: I just can't figure out how to bring up the idea of going on a date. When are you supposed to ask someone something like that?

Megavolt: I asked Quackie in a jail cell. I was recovering from a short-out and he had a broken arm. It was a horrible time to ask.

Launchpad: Then why did you?

Megavolt: He had a broken arm and was sitting in a jail cell, a plot he'd spent weeks working on was foiled, and he was still joking around. Still trying to make me smile. Still trying to see the bright side of things.

Megavolt: It was such a him sort of thing. I couldn't help but ask. I'd been trying to build up the courage to ask him for weeks, and I was beginning to think I would never do it.

Megavolt: Launchpad, there is no right time or way to ask — all that matters is that you ask.

Launchpad: Huh. Thanks, Megs, you're a real pal. You've given me a lot to think about!

Darkwing, coming around a corner: Launchpad! Launchpad, where are–?

Darkwing, angry: Launchpad, what have I said about making small talk with the bad guys?!

Launchpad, grinning: DW! Do you want to go on a date with me on Friday?

Darkwing, blushing: ..what?

Megavolt: Wait... DIPWING IS THE MYSTERY LAD– GUY?! DIPWING?!

Darkwing: Hey! I will have you know that I am a catch, thank you very much!

Megavolt: YOU REALLY AREN'T, THOUGH

Chapter 30: Favorite Haunts

Launchpad: I can't believe Megavolt returned to the lighthouse again, he knows we know about it!

Launchpad: I'm really beginning to question his sanity... What do you think, DW?

Darkwing: Oh, I never question his sanity, LP.

Launchpad, shocked: Really??

//Lighthouse pulses with light, manic cackling can be heard from inside\\

Darkwing, unfazed: I've known his sanity was missing from the start.

Chapter 31: Darkwing Has To Pretend To Be Negaduck Because... Reasons

Darkwing: [spins around in chair ominously] I’ve been expecting y– [chair continues to spin] cluck [tries to stop spinning] cluck [tries to grab a table to stop spinning] clUCK [falls out of chair]

Negaduck: ...my reputation is never going to recover from this, is it?

Megavolt: Look on the bright side, boss — we'll still think you're scary [gestures to the rest of the Fearsome Five, who nod]

Quiverwing: That doesn't really count, though.

Megavolt: Why not?

Quiverwing: You're a bunch of cowards!

Fearsome Four: WE ARE NOT!

Quivering, pointing towards where Darkwing is trying and failing to pull himself back onto the chair: You're scared of him.

Darkwing: Hey!

Fearsome Four: Oh, yeah, when you put it that way...

Darkwing: HEY!

Chapter 32: During Life, The Negaverse, And Everything

Negaduck: D'ya really think I'm just going to let ya keep the Friendly Freaks, Dorkwing?

Darkwing: Well, you kept the Fearsome ones!

Chapter 33: Life As St Canard's Superhero Ain't Easy

Darkwing: Bushroot just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he made all the flowers in the park dance.

Darkwing, sighing: So, yeah, it's going to be one of those sorts of nights.

Chapter 34: Random

Darkwing: I hate you.

Quackerjack: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Chapter 35: Unlikely Mentor

Quiverwing: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the debut of–

Liquidator: Stop, stop, hold it right there!

Quiverwing: What?

Liquidator, shaking his head: 'Ladies and gentlemen' is overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I’m falling asleep already.

Liquidator: 'Cowards', on the other hand, is relatable, to the point, and dramatic.

Quiverwing: ...

Quiverwing: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the debut of the Quiverwing Quack! Face me if you dare, cowards!

Liquidator: Oooh, I like how you mixed it! Quick thinking, little consumer.

Quiverwing: Thanks!

Chapter 36: Obvious

Darkwing, accusing: You’re insane!

Quackerjack, cheerful: Sure I am, what’s your point?

Chapter 37: The Similarity Saga

Darkwing: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere–

Megavolt: Only as their rodeo clown.

Quackerjack, to Darkwing: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Liquidator, using his powers to keep Darkwing away: [chuckles] Weakling.

Negaduck, eye twitching: Okay knobs, new rule!

Negaduck: Ya can't make fun of Dipwing's looks, height, or lack of powers!

Fearsome Four: What? Why??

Negaduck: ...

Negaduck, gesturing to himself: Why the cluck d'ya think, numbskulls?

Fearsome Four: Oh, riiiight... Oops.

Chapter 38: Herbivore Vs Plant-Duck

Stegmutt: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are just weird.

Bushroot: How can you possibly say that vegetarians possibly love the environment..?

Stegmutt: ..?

Bushroot: You keep eating all the clucking plants!

Chapter 39: Megs Is A Good Boyfriend

Darkwing: And where do you think you're going?

Megavolt: Well, it depends. Eventually jail, most likely.

Megavolt: But right now I’m going to go rob McDonkey's.

Launchpad: Why would you rob McDonkey's???

Megavolt: They have a new health burger that Quackie wants to try, but he's too busy making his new Lazer Jawbreaker Spinning Tops to steal one himself, so I'm going to surprise him.

Launchpad: Aww, how swe–

Darkwing: Lazer WHAT NOW??!

Chapter 40: Health Concerns

Darkwing: You're reusing the toys you steal?! I thought you were all about your own signature craftsmanship and all that!

Quackerjack: Well, ex-cuuuse me, Dorkwing, but it's not like my business has been particularly profitable lately.

Quackerjack: We all have ways of saving money, this is mine.

Launchpad: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times.

Quackerjack, who may be crazy but is also secretly a health nut: I hope you understand how food poisoning works.

Launchpad: I hope food poisoning understands how I work.

Launchpad: I never met a burger I couldn’t eat. Not even those greenish ones at the back of the fridge!

Quackerjack: ...

Quackerjack, to Darkwing: Your sidekick scares me sometimes.

Darkwing, sighing: I know.

Chapter 41: Disappointed

Darkwing: Well Sparky, I have to say, I'm really disappointed.

Megavolt: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it.

Megavolt: AND DON'T CALL ME SPARKY!

Chapter 42: Spiritual Selfcare

Megavolt, during a team up: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Darkwing: I'm pretending you're in jail.

Megavolt: Why?

Darkwing: It's spiritually healing.

—alt—

Darkwing, during a team up: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Megavolt: I'm pretending you're the one in jail for once.

Darkwing: Why???

Megavolt: It's spiritually healing.