Werewolf!Bruno AU

Chapter 1: So It Begins

Julieta, seeing a scar on Bruno's arm: What's this?

Bruno: What's wha– oh, that. I almost forgot about that.

Bruno: I got bit a few years ago.

Julieta: That looks too big for a rat bite, hermano.

Bruno, offended: It wasn't a rat! My rats never bite me...

Julieta: [raises eyebrow]

Bruno: ...hard enough to leave scars.

Julieta: Then what is it then?

Bruno: Hmm? Oh, a werewolf.

Julieta: ...

Julieta: Excuse me?

Bruno: He's not around anymore, he was only in town for a week. Nice guy, actually, he felt terrible about it.

Bruno: Oh, that reminds me, I need to calculate this month's moon cycle.

Julieta, stunned: Why?

Bruno: To... Know when the full moon is?

Chapter 2: Misunderstandings

Julieta: PEPA!

Pepa, covering her ears: Ay, what?

Julieta: Bruno's a werewolf.

Pepa: What?

Julieta: Bruno. Is. A. Werewolf.

Pepa: Oh, so I get in trouble for calling him a bastard, but you can call him a werewolf?

Julieta: Hermana, no–

Pepa, crossing her arms: I see how it is.

Chapter 3: She Hears All

Julieta: Kids, we're going on a trip for a few days. Some sibling bonding time, you might say.

Julieta: But we'll be back after the weekend.

Dolores: Are you and Mamí taking Tio Bruno out of the house for the full moon?

Pepa: How did you..?

Dolores: I hear all. I know all. You are but insects to me, mortals.

Mirabel: Really? Insects?

Dolores: Hmmm... 'kay, not insects.

Dolores: More like free entertainment.

Pepa: Dolores!

Dolores: What? This family is better than most telenovelas!

Dolores: Except Tio Bruno's telenovelas, those rock.

Chapter 4: Literally The One That Made Me Make This AU

Bruno, turning into a werewolf: Run!

Julieta: We already told you, hermano, we love you and are sticking by you no matter what!

Pepa: Even if you are a big disgusting monster.

Julieta: [elbows her in the side}

Pepa: Ow! Hey, what? It's true!

Bruno: Seriously, get out of here.

Pepa: My son keeps jaguars, I'm not scared of you.

Julieta: We know you'd never hurt us, Brunito.

Bruno, confused: What? Of course I wouldn't. Who said anything about hurting you?

Bruno, upset: Did someone threaten to hurt you? Because my rats' teeth are really sharp, and I'm this close to training them to bite people other than me on command.

Julieta: I... Wait, why do you want us to go if you aren't scared of hurting us?

Bruno: ...

Pepa, expectantly: Bruno?

Bruno: ...I act really dumb in wolf form and I don't want you to see me growling at the reflection in my hourglasses for an hour.

Chapter 5: Theater Kid Camilo

Dolores: Hermanito–

Camilo: Speak not with thy devil tongue, she-witch!

Dolores: I already said I was sorry–

Camilo: Years.

Camilo, tearing up: It went on for years and you didn't tell me!

Dolores: It wasn't my secret to tell!

Camilo: I could forgive you not telling me our long-lost uncle had been living in the walls for our entire lives. But not telling me we had a real-life werewolf living with us?

Camilo, betrayal lacing his voice: Inexcusable!

Chapter 6: Bruno's Breaking Point

Alma: Can you pass me the salt, Bruno?

Bruno: Hermana, can you please tell our Mama that I am not speaking to her right now?

Julieta: What? Why..?

Alma, sighing: Is this because I–

Bruno: YES IT'S BECAUSE YOU THREW THE STICK BUT REALLY IT WAS JUST BEHIND YOUR BACK!

Chapter 7: SQUIRREL!!

Antonio: Tio Bruno, you have to stop chasing my squirrels.

Bruno: Sorry kid, but I can't really control what I do in wolf form.

Antonio: ...

Antonio: You know I can hear the squirrel in your pocket, right?

Bruno: That, that isn't a squirrel!

Bruno: That's a... Tree rat.

Antonio: Tio Bruno...

Bruno, handing him the squirrel: Yeah, okay, I'll stop.

Chapter 8: Adorkable

Isabela: You're seriously a werewolf? For real?

Bruno: Yep.

Luisa: I thought werewolves were a myth.

Bruno: Well, you were mythtaken.

Isabela: ...

Isabela: There is no way that he's a werewolf.

Luisa, nodding in agreement: He's like a giant cinnamon bun wrapped in clouds.

Isabela: And covered in dork sauce.

Bruno, offended: Hey!

Isabela: You can't pretend that it isn't true.

Bruno: Well, yeah...

Bruno: But you didn't have to say it.

Chapter 9: Bathtime

Alma: Does anyone know where Bruno is? The moon's almost up.

Mirabel: Everyone asks 'werewolf', and nobody asks 'how wolf'. For shame, Abuela.

Alma: ...

Alma: He's hiding so Pepa and Julieta can't trick his wolf self into taking a bath, isn't he?

Mirabel: Yep.

Chapter 10: Antonio Commands Jaguars With Ease, You Can't Stop Him

Bruno, stubbing his toe: Mierda! Dios mio, joder!

Antonio, who Bruno did not realize was there: Tio! Language!

Bruno: Oh, sorry Antonio, I just–

Antonio, firmly: What are you, Tio?

Bruno, pleading: Do we have to do this every–?

Antonio, glaring: What are you?

Bruno: ...

Bruno, muttering softly: A werewolf, not a swear wolf.

Antonio, nodding: Good. [walks off]

Bruno: ...Pepa, your son scares me!

Pepa, from another room: Camilo, stop scaring your Tio! You know your impression of him gives him nightmares!

Bruno: I told you that in confidence!

Bruno: And I meant the other one!

Pepa: Oh, then you're on your own, hermano.

Chapter 11: Let's Say Silver Is Uncomfortable Rather Than Painful

Pepa: [comes home covered in silver jewelry]

Pepa: [places a large silver candle holder on the mantle]

Pepa: [puts silver windchimes in front of all the windows]

Pepa: [puts tiny silver statues everywhere]

Bruno, huddling in the one silver-free corner: Isn't this a little bit of an overreaction?

Pepa: You gonna take back what you said about my new dress?

Bruno, stubbornly: No.

Pepa, replacing their utensils with pure silver ones: Then nope.

Chapter 12: The Moon Saga

Camilo: What do you think would happen if a werewolf was exposed to moonlight long-term?

Dolores: How would that happen?

Camilo: I don't know, put them on the moon?

Bruno, overhearing: [chuckles] Kids.

Camilo: Hey, Mirabel, do you think you could you could sew a suit that could keep air in? And also hold, like, a lot of air?

Mirabel: Maybe. How big would it need to be?

Camilo: How big is Tio Bruno?

Bruno, who was just about to enter the room: [turns and walks away as fast as he can]

Camilo: Luisa, how high could you throw something?

Luisa: Depends on how heavy it is.

Camilo: Hey, Tio Bruno?

Bruno, worried: Y-yes?

Camilo: How much do you weigh?

Bruno, carrying a large pack: Welp, bye.

Julieta: Where are you going?

Bruno: Back in the walls where it's safe.

Julieta, upset: What? You can't–

Camilo, in the distance: Oh, Tio Bruno~

Bruno, hugging Julieta: Don't let him get me!

Julieta: ...

Julieta, sighing: PEPA! Your son's scaring Brunito again!

Pepa, from another room: I can't help, sorry!

Bruno: [whimpers]

Julieta, patting Bruno's head comfortingly: I mean Camilo, not Antonio!

Pepa: Oh, then give me a second!

Chapter 13: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Bruno: Mama, do we still keep the shovels in the same place as ten years ago?

Alma: As far as I know, yes.

Alma: Why?

Bruno: I had a vision of something last night.

Alma: You have visions in wolf form?

Bruno: Sometimes, yeah, but I can't remember them very well. So I need to look at the tablet to jog my memory.

Alma: Huh.

Alma: Wait, why does that mean you need a shovel?

Bruno: ...I might have buried the tablet in the yard.

Alma: Why is Bruno screaming into the couch cushions?

Felix, barely suppressing his laughter: His vision was that he'd spend all day digging for something.

Chapter 14: Jealousy And Love: Familial Edition

Julieta, on an evening walk: [spots a dog]

Julieta: Aw, aren't you just the cutest little thing? Who's a good bo–

A wolf with bright green eyes jumps out of the bushes, growling and barking viciously, chasing the dog away

//At breakfast the next morning

Bruno, head in his hands: [under his breath] Please don't, please don't, please don't...

Julieta, handing out food: Here's a plate for Mirabel, and one for Mamí, and– [reaches Bruno] one for the bestest boy, yes you are!

Bruno, whining: I said I was sorry!

Julieta: No, I should be the one to apologize.

Julieta: Trying to pet another puppy like that, what was I thinking?

Bruno, blushing in embarrassment: Mamí, make her stop!

Alma: [flashback to little Bruno yelling the exact same thing as little Julieta poked his face over and over with a carrot stick]

Alma: [starts crying]

Bruno & Julieta, panicking: Mama, what–?

Alma, standing up and pulling Pepa with her: [hugs the three of them] I just love you all so much.

Triplets: [share extremely confused glances]

Triplets, shrugging: [melt into hug] Um, we love you too?

Chapter 15: Chasing Your Tail

Bruno: [is eating some cheese]

Rat: [steals the cheese]

Bruno: [tries to get cheese back]

Rat: [jumps inside the hood of his ruana]

Bruno: [cranes head to see it but ends up walking in a circle over and over again]

Agustin: [sees Bruno apparently chasing himself]

Agustin, to Julieta: Honey, how long until the full moon again?

Chapter 16: Tell Me This Isn't 100% Something He Would Do

Dolores: I heard a weird sound last night.

Bruno: What did it sound like?

Dolores: Kinda like... Cronch, cronch, yowl.

Bruno, impressed: You heard that? [chuckles] Don't worry, kid, that was just me. I got a splinter while eating a stick.

Dolores: Oh. Wait...

Dolores: Last night wasn't the full moon, though.

Bruno: And..?

Dolores: And why were you eating a stick?

Bruno: ...because I was hungry?

Dolores: So why didn't you just grab something from the cabinets? Or have seconds at dinner? Or literally anything else?

Bruno, shrugging: I mean, I stole a lot of food over the last decade. I had to.

Bruno: But I get meals with everyone else now, so I've decided not to take anything more than I absolutely need.

Dolores: But you were still hungry.

Bruno, cheerfully: Which was why I ate the stick!

Dolores: ...

Dolores: Tia Julieta!

Chapter 17: Eh, What's Up, Baker?

Julieta: Baking family! Assemble!

Agustin, Luisa, Isabela, and Mirabel: [hurry into room]

Julieta: Yesterday, I watched Bruno try to eat a decorative rock from one of Isabela's potted plants. Dolores caught him, and told him he can't eat rocks. Bruno started whining something about no food in the house before walking away.

Agustin, Luisa, Isabela, and Mirabel: ...okay?

Julieta: I keep the cabinets fully stocked at all times.

Julieta: And he dares to say something like that.

Agustin, Luisa, Isabela, and Mirabel: ...oh no.

Julieta, wielding a whisk: This means war!

Chapter 18: Little-Known Myth

Alma: [marches into the jungle at night]

Alma: [runs into a giant black wolf with eery, glowing green eyes]

Alma, glaring: [throws a green ruana at it]

Alma: Bruno, you get back inside right now and attend game night with your family!

Bruno, turning back into human form: ...

Bruno, shrugging: It was worth a shot.

Alma, turning to go back inside: And put some damn pants on!

Bruno, following her: Yes, Mama...