For Goodness Sake!

Chapter 8: Tiff Of The Titans

Darkwing: How did you, of all people, become a superhero? 

Fenton: I have a philosophy in life; if the seat is open, so's the job.

Fenton: And, really, they should've made the password much harder to guess.

Darkwing, who spent years training to be a detective and superhero: Do you mean to tell me [eye twitches] that you STOLE THE SUIT and Scrooge just LETS YOU KEEP IT?!

Fenton: Gee, I guess it does sound bad when you put it that way...

Darkwing: Giz, can I ask you a question?

Gizmoduck: Sure, Wingy! Anything!

Darkwing: Why don't you go back to your own town and leave me alone?

Fenton, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The actual plot, por favor.

Darkwing, reading an annotation on the cover of a book, unfazed: A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New Yolk Times Bestseller.

Darkwing, now looking directly at Fenton: Cluck you.

Darkwing: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Gizmoduck: That is not something you actually have installed.

Darkwing: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Gizmoduck: That wasn't an opinion, it was a FACT!

Darkwing: BWWAAAAAAAAAA!

Fenton: Name something you believe in now that you didn't as a child.

Darkwing, without thinking: Myself.

Fenton: ...

Fenton: Is that a good thing or a bad thing or..?

Darkwing, still not thinking very much about this conversation because he's mentally redesigning his gas gun: I don't know, ask Launchpad. He's good with the emotions stuff.

Fenton, genuinely worried now: Did you just tell me to go to Launchpad because he knows something you don't???

Darkwing: Yeah–

Darkwing, finally catching up to the conversation: Of, of course not! The Masked Mallard of St Canard is skilled at all things superheroes should be, which includes emotions! I'm certainly not worse at them than my buffoonish — which I mean in the most affectionate way, of course — sidekick.

Darkwing: Honestly, Giz, where do you get these crazy ideas of yours? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have superheroly things to which I must attend! [books it out of there strategically retreats]

Fenton: ...

Fenton, shaking his head: And Mamí said I'd never find friends weirder than me.

Darkwing: Why are you so late?

Gizmoduck: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness!

Darkwing: Overslept?

Fenton: Overslept.

Darkwing: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!

Gizmoduck: Oh? Even more humiliating than–

Darkwing: We are not doing this right now, Fenton!

Darkwing: Fenton… I’m bleeding…

Gizmoduck: Oh Ivia… what’s your blood type?!

Darkwing: B positive…

Gizmoduck: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding–