Unfinished Smurfs

Chapter 2: Dismal Reflections: An Unsmurfy Love

Part One

snruteR yppaH ynaM

Smurfs are cheery creatures.

"Good morning, Grouchy!"

"What's good about it?"

They strive to work, live, and play in harmony.

"Top 'o the mornin', Grouchy."

"I hate mornings!"

Smurfs are social creatures.

"Good morning, Mr. Grouchy!"

"...morning, brats."

They are a community, constantly seeking to make each other happy, each an essential piece of a wider puzzle.

"Smurfy morning, Brainy!"

"Oh, smurfy morning, Jo—" BOOM!

"Hehehe! Smurfy morning, Grouchy!"

"Morning, Jokey."

And they all liked it that way...

"And how's your morning smurfing?"

"Smurf me alone, Nosey!"

...unless they happened to be named 'Grouchy Smurf'.

"Dismal day today, isn't it?"

"Hello, Vanity." Grouchy nodded, sitting on the bench next to his fellow Smurf. "I hate today."

"I know what you mean!" Vanity didn't turn his gaze away from his mirror. Grouchy didn't mind, he hadn't expected the other Smurf to do so. "With how blotchy these clouds are, my skin is being unevenly doused in sun! And don't get me started on what this Smurf-forsaken wind has been doing to my..."

He talked and talked, either compliments to himself or complaints about how something or somesmurf was affecting him. Grouchy occasionally added a complaint of his own, otherwise not really speaking — which was fine, as Vanity never asked him to contribute more than the little he already did.

"...of course, even with the smurfing weather working against me, I'm still the best-smurfing Smurf in Blossom." Vanity chuckled, adjusting the cloth flower pinned to his hat. "Nothing can smurf my good looks."

"I hate–" Grouchy cut himself off before he could add how you look. It wasn't true, really, and it was something that could actually hurt Vanity's feelings.

(And then Vanity wouldn't sit next to him to complain anymore, and he'd have to go back to either being ignored or forced to talk to Smurfs who demanded he talk back)

"–mirrors," he finished instead, quickly enough that the other didn't notice his pause.

Vanity gasped dramatically, gaze briefly flicking to Grouchy before going back to his reflection. "However can you smurf that?! Mirrors are..."

And thus began a long rant about reflective surfaces that he wasn't expected to either contribute to or actually pay any attention to.

(He did pay attention, when Vanity got so passionate he'd look away from his mirror and to the sky for a few seconds. Grouchy had learned more about reflections and beauty standards and skincare from Vanity than he'd ever thought he'd want to know. He didn't really mind)

"...which of course proves the psychological benefits of smurfing at–" Vanity made a choked sound as he suddenly cut himself off, eyes fixed on a point in the distance. "Oh, was that today?" He sounded like he looked: dazed and lost. 

Grouchy followed his line of sight, spotting a large bird a ways off. "I hate–" wait, he knew that bird "–Smurfs that fly in weather like this! Smurfing idiots!"

Not to mention they were a day early, so there wasn't even a landing space prepared, and all sorts of Smurfs had to run around to clear one big enough for the huge thing. Well, at least there was plenty of panic and chaos — two things that always lifted Grouchy's mood a little. He watched the bird getting closer, crossing his arms and frowning deeper, before glancing at a still-staring Vanity.

It had been five years since Dreamy had set off on an adventure to the farthest reaches of the world with a crew of volunteers. Volunteers that happened to include a very specific sorta-but-not-really-but-kinda-still-was Smurfling. Grouchy sighed loudly, hoping that would get Vanity to talk about it.

Luckily, it worked. "D-do you think he'll want to see me?" Unluckily, they were apparently going to actually have a conversation now. Because that's how talking about it worked. Oh well, he supposed it wouldn't be too bad. It never was, with Vanity. "Maybe he won't want to smurf–"

"I hate insecurity!" Especially when it was so very out-of-character for a Smurf who was literally almost named 'Narcissist'.

"I'm not being insecure, I know I'm perfectly smurfy." Vanity humphed defensively, making eye contact for what was probably the first time that day before hurriedly returning his gaze to his mirror. He adjusted his hat as he spoke, a nervous tick Grouchy had picked up on decades ago. "I'm beautiful and amazing and have clearer skin than Smurfette, but I happen to be self-aware enough to know I'm hardly a good conversation partner. Besides, he's got friends he hasn't smurfed in years, friends that won't just..."

Talk about themselves for three hours straight.

Get distracted by a particularly reflective puddle.

Have a panic attack if a bit of dirt gets on them.

Grouchy wasn't entirely sure how Vanity had intended to end that sentence, but he knew a lot of possibilities. All of them very valid points, and maybe he should point them out, but... Something about listing Vanity's flaws always rubbed him the wrong way, no matter how much he usually enjoyed doing it for other Smurfs.

"What if he'd rather not smurf time with me?" Vanity asked, voice small. Too small, especially for somesmurf like Vanity. "I won't try to make him if he doesn't want to, of course. He deserves to be his own Smurf with his own choices."

A phrase Grouchy had heard from the other hundreds of times, but not any time in about half a decade. A small time for a being over two hundred years old, true, but long enough for him to forget how different Vanity always sounded when he said it — determined but with a tinge of guilt, more like he was reminding himself than talking to anysmurf else.

He'll want to smurf time with you, Grouchy wanted to comfort the other, but the words didn't come out. They were too... soft. There was no way he could think of to spin them into the negative, and the bird was already landing anyways, so he settled for hesitantly patting Vanity's arm. Vanity startled under the unexpected touch, but briefly leaned into it, his worried frown becoming a small smile for just a second.

He still didn't look at Grouchy, but that was okay. Grouchy didn't mind. He never would.

"Hello, everysmurf!" a familiar voice that neither had heard in five years called out from the carrier on the back of the truly gigantic bird, hopping down as if gravity was more of a suggestion than a rule. "I, Captain Dreamy, have returned with my merry band of brave adventurers! We bring treasures unseen and tales unheard, all from places unimagined in smurfy Blossom!"

"Welcome back, Dreamy. Welcome back, Dreamy's crew," the village Smurfs chorused. Under the cover of so many voices, Grouchy joined in the greeting, Vanity's faux-bored tone only a half-second behind his own neutral one.

One by one, Smurfs hopped out of the carrier after Dreamy, all being greeted by friends and family. There was luggage to haul, new faces to introduce to the village, even some injuries to gasp about — but Grouchy hardly cared about any of that. He only cared about the last Smurf to exit, the one a little smaller than the rest, the one Vanity had looked up from his mirror to stare at.

The one walking backwards.

".ysmulC, gninrom dooG" The Smurfling waved, holding his backpack over one shoulder, looking around at various Smurfs. He hadn't seen Grouchy or Vanity yet, facing away from their bench as he was. "¿yniarB, sessalg weN"

Grouchy nudged Vanity, gesturing towards the Smurfling who still looked exactly as he did when he'd left, and wasn't that just a weird sight? Get his attention, idiot.

Vanity glanced repeatedly between the Smurfling and his mirror. He gestured to the Smurfling, eyebrow raised. How?

Grouchy shrugged. What did he want from him? He just needed to call out his name like a normal Smurf!

Of course, Vanity wasn't by any means normal, so instead he put his fingers in his mouth and loudly whistled like somesmurf calling over a pet caterpillar. Grouchy facepalmed, but at least it worked, and the Smurfling turned curiously towards the noise. The kid's face lit up, and he ran normally (though a little unsteadily) towards them, barrelling into a now-standing Vanity to throw his arms around him.

"!ytinaV, hcum os uoy defrums I" The Smurfling laughed, happy tears welling up when Vanity hugged him back. "!esroh a was neve I .enod ev'I sgniht fo sdnik eht sseug reven ll'ouY"

"Calm down, I can't undersmurf you." Vanity chuckled, sitting back down, eyes still on the kid.

"naem I, mean I, I mean–" The kid took a deep breath, hopping in place from excitement. "Horse a s– I saw a horse!"

"A what?" Vanity asked. His mirror was face-down on his lap, fingers clutching the handle as if he was forcing himself not to pick it up. He had a small, slightly strained smile, eyes flicking to the side a few times, but managed to mostly keep looking at the Smurfling.

"It's Gargamel than bigg– bigger than Gargamel!" The kid gestured with the hand not holding his backpack strap, getting more excited as he talked.

Grouchy stared at the kid. He'd forgotten how weird it was, seeing a spitting image of Vanity as he had looked over ninety years ago, barely one eighty-five and yet already starting to get his adult looks. Spitting image except for his cloth flower being on the wrong side, and he gestured with the opposite hand than Vanity normally did, and he wasn't holding a mirror...

It was still weird. Almost as weird as Vanity trying so hard to focus on his living reflection rather than his handheld one, which was another thing Grouchy had sorta forgotten he did. Five years wasn't all that long, but it was long enough to be surprised by certain things that used to be normal. Maybe they weren't quite bad surprises, though.

"...then it bucked up and– oh, me reminds that!" The Smurfling shook his head. "Uh, that reminds me! I need to smurf Handy about something. Is he in his workshop?"

"Probably, but he moved his workshop last year after a little exploding incident." Vanity gestured across the way at Jokey, who broke into cackling laughter at the reminder. "I can smurf you where the new one is, if you want?"

"Yeah, I– oh, hey Mr. Grouchy, didn't smurf ya there." The kid frowned, looking up at the sky. "Horrible weather we're having, aren't we? The amount of turbulence we smurfed coming in nearly threw me straight overboard and onto the ground — can you imagine what the bruises would've done to my skin?!"

Deep inside and only there, Grouchy laughed, because of course that was what Vanity's reflection was worried about. "I hate stormy weather!" was what he said instead of hello, but it didn't matter because the kid didn't seem to mind the lack of greeting. He'd forgotten how much the young Smurfling was like Vanity in that respect.

"Now come on, let's go!" the kid said, starting to pull Vanity along in the general direction where Handy's workshop used to be. Grouchy briefly wondered if he was pulling him like that as an excuse to walk backwards. "Bye, Mr. Grouchy."

"Oh, uh, I suppose we'll have to smurf again later." Vanity waved to Grouchy, letting himself be led in the wrong direction.

"I hate smurfing later!" Because he'd much rather smurf now. But he still waved goodbye with slightly less of a frown than usual. He supposed it wouldn't be fair to get in the way of the two spending time together after so long.

Of course, when exactly he'd started caring about fair was a mystery to him. He was distracted from trying to remember by a rather loud declaration.

"To smurf or not to smurf, that is the question." A Smurf he didn't recognize was setting up a podium nearby. "Hello, everysmurf. My name is Philosopher, and I am considering smurfing to your quaint village, on the esteemed recommendation of Captain Dreamy. To introduce myself, I've smurfed up a little lecture. The topic? What is self, and can we truly share it? In fact, do we even really smurf it in the first place?"

"I hate pompous Smurfs!" Grouchy grumbled. To his surprise, Jokey walked up to him, frowning instead of smiling.

"So do I, especially when I try ta smurf 'em an' they call my gift box 'an amateur attempt to understand what cannot be smurfed'." Jokey grinned, which was a lot more like him. It was a grin that meant somesmurf had earned his wrath and was about to have a rather bad day, to put it mildly. "Ya wanna help me smurf him outta town?"

"I hate pranks," Grouchy lied, smirking internally in anticipation. Jokey could be an annoying pain in the smurf to hang out with, but the chaos and anger his pranks brought was usually enough to make Grouchy feel almost-happy. He growled. "I hate Philosopher more." He didn't really have a reason to, but he never needed a real reason.

"Smurfy!" Jokey giggled, clapping his hands. "So, here's th' plan..."

Snippet

Diogenes (IYKYK)

He hated that he didn't hate Phil as much as he thought he would. Especially since the look Jokey was giving him meant that this was a betrayal of the highest order, and Grouchy had better 'naively' open up the next gift box he got or else there would be Hell to pay.

Part Two

Names/Brothers

They were going the wrong way, but that was fine. Vanity knew how to get to Handy's new workshop from where his old one used to be, they'd just have to go a slightly longer route — which would give him more time to listen to Reversal ramble on about where he'd been and what he'd done, who he'd met and the things he'd seen. It was incredible, honestly, what one crew could go through in just five years.

But that was hardly why Vanity paid attention to every word. Vanity noticed a lot more than most Smurfs gave him credit for, heard a lot from behind his mirror, but he still had trouble caring about anything that wasn't his own reflection. He was called Vanity for a reason, he knew that, as nothing mattered to him so much as his own face and voice.

So it made sense that the one Smurf he could mostly force himself to focus on had his face and voice. Except he didn't anymore, hadn't for a long time. Reversal looked and sounded like he did nearly a century ago, when he was still so boyish but already thought himself the most beautiful Smurf to ever live. How he'd looked the day of the little incident with the storm, the mirror, and the interrupted ritual.

Reversal hadn't aged a day. Alchemist said he'd probably start aging when he caught up to how old his body was, and Vanity hoped it was true. If he was forever stuck as a Smurfling, he'd never find love, or have kids, or a whole lot of other things Vanity himself didn't particularly care about but knew most Smurfs did and that probably included his reflection.

His reflection who wasn't him. His reflection who was oh-so-different and always had been. His reflection who didn't mind dirt or eye contact, who worried over his appearance more than most Smurfs did but less than Vanity himself did, who cared enough about the wider world to actually want to go see it.

No, Vanity's self-obsession (he had no delusions about who he was, flaws and all) wasn't the reason he cared about Reversal, though admittedly that's how it started. Growing up an only child was hard, especially when you didn't quite function properly. Suddenly getting a little brother made it a lot harder and a lot easier in different ways.

"–so he turned out to be an escaped slave, if you can believe that," Reversal continued talking, walking backwards as he gripped Vanity's hand. He didn't hit into anything as he walked, years of practice letting him hear his obstacles in time to avoid them. "He's a pretty Smurfy guy, but don't let him near your valuables. We should change his name to Klepto." Reversal laughed.

And that made Vanity think of something he should've asked before, but of course he didn't think about it... "Speaking of names, do you smurf one now?" Reversal wasn't a real name, after all, just a Smurfling's placeholder.

"Yet not, no." Reversal shook his head, seeming not to care. Then again, most Smurflings didn't care all that much at seventy, which was technically how old Reversal actually was. Vanity himself had only started really getting emotional over names at a hundred-and-two. "No name trait me for. For me. Yet. But I've got a bunch of new hobbies! Tricks smurfy of lot a learned I and. Wait, that's not right, sorry. Uh..."

"It's okay, I understood." Five years around Smurfs who weren't used to it had made Reversal a little better at speaking normally, evidently. Vanity wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. He tightened his hand around his mirror, looking his living reflection in the eyes as he fought the urge to look at his regular one instead. "Are any of these smurfy tricks the reason you need to smurf with Handy?"

"Sorta." Reversal let go of his hand to rummage in his backpack, left hand still gripping the strap. Just like Vanity, he was rather unnecessarily used to living with one hand, the other always occupied with something. For Vanity, it was his mirror, while Reversal preferred his backpack strap or small puzzles.

Vanity was broken from his thoughts by a piece of paper being shoved into his face, something drawn on it. He stopped walking, leaning against one of Lantern's lampposts, and took the paper to look at it carefully.

Two animals were drawn side-by-side. One was a rabbit or hare (he could never tell the difference), while the other was... Well, he didn't know what it was, but he guessed it kinda matched Reversal's description of a 'horse', so maybe it was that. They both were wearing something on their backs, though the one on the rabbit/hare had some parts crossed out and redrawn differently.

"Saddle a cal– it's called a saddle," Reversal told him, almost nervously. "Humans use them to ride horses easier, and I thought maybe Handy could make something similar for smaller creatures? Ones Smurfs can ride. To give us options besides baskets on birdback. Think it's something... Think he'll like it?"

Vanity looked up from the picture, meeting Reversal's eyes a little easier this time (it had been five years since he willingly made so much eye contact, but it was coming back to him quickly). He honestly had no clue if 'saddles' could be made for rabbits or hares or whatever, or if Smurfs could ride less predictable creatures than birds. But weirder things had happened, and Reversal looked so nervously hopeful, so he smiled and said, "I think he'll love it."

The smile he got in return made his heart lighten in a way it hadn't for the past five years (full of anxiety and loneliness and wondering if he was even okay–).

Suddenly they were off again, on the wrong long way to Handy's workshop, Reversal happily chattering and Vanity happily listening.

Notes On Planned Next Scene/Chapter

They meet up with Handy, and we finally see how Vanity interacts with most Smurfs — faux-bored, dismissive, and not paying attention at all. He even pretends to not know what Reversal wants to show Handy. Handy POV???