Incorrect Rogues

Chapter 2: Coffee

//pre-villain days, in a coffee shop.

Harleen, looking behind herself in line: Professah Crane? Is dat ya?

Jonathan, nodding hello: Ms Quinzel. Good morning. I wasn't aware you got coffee here.

Harleen: Oh, I don' usually, but one of my friends recommended it.

Barista: What will your order be?

Harleen, rummaging through her oversized purse: I'll have- shit, I forgot my wallet.

Jonathan: Don't worry, Ms Quinzel, I can pay for you.

Harleen: I couldn' ask ya ta do dat, Professah! I can go wit'out coffee for today, really!

Jonathan: It's no trouble. I'd hate for one of my star students to fall behind due to distraction from lack of coffee. I understand the importance caffeine has on mental function.

Harleen: ...Professah, how many cups of coffee have ya had dis mornin'?

Jonathan: This will be my third. Why?

Harleen: No reason. T'anks a lot fer dis, Professah.

Jonathan: Think nothing of it, child. Now, how do you like your coffee?

Harleen, trying to look serious: As dark an' bittah as my soul.

Jonathan, deadpan, to the barista: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar.

Harleen, hopeful: An' sprinkles?

Jonathan: ...

Jonathan: And sprinkles.

Barista: Alright. And for yourself?

Jonathan: Plain black... -glances at Harleen-

Jonathan, muttering so she can't hear: With pumpkin spice flavoring.

Harleen, hearing anyways: -makes mental note-

---years later, while the Rogues are planning a heist late into the night and early morning---

Harley: I got coffee!

Rogues: -sleepily cheer-

Harley: Mistah Freeze gets an extra-frozen frapaccino, tea for da Hattah an' Riddley-

Riddler: Wait, why don't I get coffee?

Harley: We had a vote. Ya an' Puddin' aren' allowed coffee no more. Speakin' of Puddin', here's yer hot cocoa, Mistah J.

Joker: T'anks, Pumpkin.

Harley: Red, Croc, Clayface, an' Pengy don' drink any of dis stuff, so I didn' get 'em anyt'ing.

Penguin: I drink tea, just not at night. I am a gentleman, you know.

Mad Hatter, drinking multiple cups of tea at once: -glares-

Harley: A latte wit' extra espresso for Twoface, and pretty much jus' milk for da Cat. Oh, an' plain black for ya, Professah!

Scarecrow, hiding a look of distaste: Thank you, Ms Quinn.

Harley, whispering as she passes him: Wit' extra pumpkin spice! -winks-

Scarecrow, hiding a smile: Did you get anything for yourself, child?

Harley, smirking: Somet'ing as dark an' bittah as my soul!

Ivy, horrified: Oh, Gaia. Joker, she's staying at your place tonight -- I am not handling another of Harls' sugar rushes.