Times Regular Gothamites Were Crazier Than The Rogues

Chapter 1: Carolyn's Math Tutor

On reflection, it may have been a bad idea to try to pull off a plot in the rain. But, in Edward's defense, he lives in Gotham — it's almost always raining.

And it's not his fault he slipped on that stupid wet sidewalk; his shoes are made for style, not running away from a crazy guy in a bat costume after five days no sleep. Though, considering his life, perhaps that's a bit of an oversight...

He wakes tied to a chair in a dark room, his head throbbing from where he hit it but luckily seeming fine otherwise. There's a pressure on it, like some sort of bandage. A slim figure stands at the edge of his vision, their features clouded by shadows. Nevertheless, he recognizes them.

Oh great, this again. "For fuc– just hire a math tutor, Carolyn!"

"Do you know how expensive those are? My mom can't afford that!" The figure steps forward, revealing herself as a dark-haired teenager. She points to the bandage on his head with a smirk. "Besides, I gave you first aid; you owe me."

"I'm pretty sure that after the fifth kidnapping, I don't owe you anything." He humphs, trying to slip out of the rope securing him. Unfortunately, she's learned a thing or two since their first encounter, and he's still groggy. He slumps in his seat, realizing that escaping from Carolyn has apparently become more of a challenge for him than escaping the Bat. Defeated, he sighs and asks, "What's the first question?"

She flicks on her light and plops down on her bed, reading off a sheet of paper. Experience dashes any hope he might have of her mom suddenly barging in and seeing him; the woman believes far too strongly in privacy. "If a train going 39 kilometers per hour leaves New York at 13:00, traveling south, and another train leaves–"

"Seriously?!" Edward groans, not able to believe they were still using this ridiculous cliche to 'teach' maths. "What's your teacher's name?"

"Mrs. Hannigan." Carolyn tilts her head curiously. "Why?"

"I'm going to frame her and get us out of this assignment," he answers viciously. "That moron should never have set foot in a classroom."

He's been hanging around Jonathan too long, hasn't he?

"The assignment's due tomorrow," Carolyn complains. "Even if you get her fired that quickly, the substitute will just use the stuff she left behind. I still have to figure out this assignment."

"Open your laptop," Edward orders after a moment of thought. "Go to YouTube; we're going to search a few math techniques, since I can't actually demonstrate them with my hands tied."

"My teachers all say YouTube isn't a valid resource," Carolyn says, opening her laptop and putting in her password. He guessed it ages ago, so she doesn't bother blocking it from his sight.

Edward laughs. "Next time they say that, tell them the Riddler himself endorses it."

"Oh yes, I'm sure that will impress them." Carolyn rolls her eyes, but smiles fondly. "Okay, what should I search?"

As he tells her what to type, Edward reflects on his situation, suddenly glad he hadn't had a partner for this particular plot. He bets none of the others ever have to deal with civilians as insane as Carolyn.

Oh, how very wrong he is.