18 sparksChapter 10: Grouchy Smurf ♂️
Gender: Male
Special Trait: Grouchiness.
Job(s): Babysitter.
Appearance: Average height and build. ??? eyes. Black hat, black footsie pants, ever-present scowl.
Relatives: ???
Shipped With: Vanity.
Age Bracket: Older-young adult.
He adopted Baby Foundling after finding him in the woods, and did so surprisingly well with him that he's often trusted with the various other children of Blossom. He's not entirely sure when he became the village's free babysitter, but he... doesn't entirely hate it.
In love with Vanity.
Hates having to talk too much. Hates... pretty much almost everything.
Loves clouds, flying, children, philosophy, flowers, and chaos.
He once thought of naming himself Cloudgazer Smurf, until he discovered his true passion and life's mission — to be the grouchiest son of a Smurf to ever live. His grumpiness and pessimism is real, but he plays it up for his own amusement; he is so committed to the bit, he has trouble even thinking the words 'I love'.
Eventually he learns a bit of balance. Very, very, very far in the future. Baby helps.
He hates Philosopher from the first moment he sees him, and most Smurfs think that said hate only grew over time. He often interrupts Phil's lectures by eating loudly or throwing things at him. They argue near constantly when put within sight of each other.
In truth, the hate fizzled out after their first real conversation, and they are now best friends because they share a very unique love language: constant bickering and heckling.
Grouchy and Vanity fell in love because they sat next to each other on a bench.
Vanity spent the entire time talking about himself and complaining about things, not once looking at Grouchy.
Grouchy contributed to the conversation maybe a handful of times, each a proclamation of dislike for something rather than a response to what Vanity said.
Then they went back to their own homes... and returned the next day to sit on the bench again.
Grouchy doesn't want to have to talk beyond a few 'I hate _'s. Vanity doesn't want to focus on another person. Neither wants to be alone.
Vanity doesn't demand that Grouchy talk back, Grouchy doesn't ask Vanity to look at him. And neither is merely tolerating the other — the other is their ideal conversation partner, their safe space, the one person they don't have to change for.
Because they do have to change. Grouchy is overly depressed and angry. Vanity has intense issues connecting to others. They don't need to erase who they are, but they do need to change, and they will — but they still find each other the exact sort of weird they need.
Someday Grouchy will say 'I love you, Vanity' without even thinking about it. Someday Vanity will tell Grouchy he looks absolutely amazing without tying it into his own looks. It will take them a long time to get there.
But that's okay. Because Vanity doesn't need affirmation, he needs someone who's happy to listen to a three hour rant about skincare, all while not making eye contact. Grouchy doesn't need grand gestures of romance, he just needs someone who's willing to complain with him and exist with him and speak AT him without expecting reciprocity.
Neither is perfect, and improvement will be a long road for them. But for now, they are each exactly the sort of imperfect the other is willing — and happy — to work with.
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Comments carried over from AO3 (33)
These were left on the original AO3 posting and are shown as they appeared there.
I recently looked at the lost village again Smurf and Willow have teal colored eyes
He doesn't have an eye color or is it unknown?
I haven't decided his eye color yet.
Thanks for commenting, it's nice to know people are actually reading this 😄
Your welcome!
"and for that Clumsy decided he was his now.*
I love this discrimination! I love how well you balanced out his character, and gave him flows, well still being a really interesting Smurf!
I'd make him the bro of Harmony, maybe?
How would one go about riding a bat..? Lol
Ooooh, I like it!
If make him Dreamy's brother!
Wait, are his arms actually white, or does he wear gloves?
"He disappeared into the forest one Halloween and came back... different."
He's not actually a ghost, right..?
Um... Yes and no?
He's not a ghost, he's not actively dead.
I can't decide if he really did die and came back to life or not, but something definitely happened to change him in a major way, so...
...okay fine I made a ghost Smurf. But one that's reborn instead of dead!
"She and Jokey had little choice in becoming mushroommates, and each tried to run the other out... via a quickly escalating series of pranks that completely disregarded any sense of safety or sanity whatsoever." CUUUTE! 😍
"THIS IS A CANON SMURF THAT I JUST MADE BETTER, SEARCH IT."
😂 😂 😂
I love this! I had never heard of this Smurf, did you invent?
Also, HANGGLIDING?!?, is that how that's spelled??? That is the worst use of double G the English language has ever come up with! 😂
"He can talk to snakes. He really likes snakes. Most Smurfs do not like snakes. He does not care." 😆😆😆
"He can hypnotize anysmurf. He likes hypnotizing Smurfs and making them dance."
WTF 😂
😍 😍😍 I love this! He's amazing! He needs a proper bookie romance! Maybe with Brainy, lol. Or Clueless/Oblivious Smurf?
Aren't Doctor and Dabbler different Smurfs?
Not anymore! 😜
Oooh! You should ship him him Glow Smurf!
Which Smurf is your favorite?
Brainy, with Jokey as a very close second. Why do you ask? Oh, and what's your favorite? :)
Brainy Smurf
He's one of the best 😊
Fear her, for she is queen of the hives! (Dramatic lightning flash and ominous buzzing)
This is my favorite description of anything/one EVER 😂😂😂
Oooh! Interesting curse idea! 💡
Language battles? 🤨
Appearance: PIRATE - 😂😂😂😂😂
(unless that Smurf just so happens to be Haberdasher, of course).
I SHIP IT!!!
Ooooh, what type of spider?
I love the pun 😍
Shouldn't he have a firefighter hat? 🤨
One day he got bored, started whittling, and accidentally became a cobbler. The end.
😂 😂 😂
Why wooden shoes?
...in my defense, I was really tired when I posted his profile XD
The wooden shoes are technically canon, tho
⚡⚡⚡
Special Trait: Moving dust from one area to another. 😂😂 😂
occasional baby sitter/nanny. 🤨 ...MARY POPPINS AND BERT, THE CHIMNEY SWEEP'S SON???? 😍
Persnickety - Pennyworth??? Heya Al!!!
This comment has made me decide to commit to the idea, and now he's friends with a Smurf that rides bats 🙃
He should make a city nearby! In-canon both the Grove and Village get destroyed, and a new one gets built...
Though we all know canon should be put in a box in our attic, covered in dust and spiderwebs, sometimes that old box can be taken out, to find a thing or two that might be useful! He could make a second (third) living area, since the Smurf population is growing. Maybe another town, or something, gets destroyed, and the occupants have to move to Smurf Village, so he makes a city for them!
IDK, either way, I love all of these characters so far!
Why?!? 😂😂😂
Smurfs are pure and perfect! Lol
Job(s): Being cute. 😍 😍 😍
He has some limited powers: teleportation, invulnerability, and crazy luck. 😂 😂 😂
Isn't Lucky Smurf luck?
I love the name Mayhem Smurf! It's just so amazing and hilarious! Seriously, the only thing you need to know about him is his name, then you know everything about him! Lol
This was so amazing! I love both your original characters, and your edits on old ones! So amazing! Keep up the good work! 😊
'I love you and will tackle God himself if he looks at you funny — and I will win'.
That is... Exactly Hefty's energy, lol.
"He silently follows people, especially children, if he sees them wandering around at night. This can come off as menacing, but his goal isn't to freak them out — it's to freak out anything else that might decide to follow them around."
His logic seems... flawed.
That's because it is! 🙃
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