100 Smurfy Profiles

Chapter 9: Vanity Smurf ♂️

Gender: Male.

Special Trait: Beauty/aesthetic.

Job(s): Interior decorator, skincare expert.

Appearance: Average build but slightly taller than most, with features that are considered particularly desirable. ??? eyes. White hat, white footsie pants, a flower (usually made of cloth but sometimes real) tucked behind his left ear, never seen without a hand mirror.

Relatives: Reversal Smurf (younger 'brother' and living reflection)

Shipped With: Grouchy.

Age Bracket: Older-young adult.

His house is pink and covered in flowers, decorated in soft carpets, paintings and statues of himself, vases on pedestals, and so many mirrors. He loves flowers, makeup, decorating, and most of all himself. Good at skincare and such. He likes talking a LOT, especially about himself, and is actually pretty knowledgeable about things related to beauty or mirrors.

He hates eye contact, so is always staring at his mirror. He loves looking at himself, so is always staring at his mirror. He notices just about everything but everysmurf thinks he's completely oblivious because he's apathetic to almost everything but himself.

He loves complaining and insulting others behind closed doors, which is part of what connects Jokey and Grouchy to him. He is genuinely self-obsessed but still capable of care — at his worst, he thought that pictures of himself were the ultimate gift and talking about himself was the ultimate conversation. He does get a bit better over time, due to his relationships to others.

He doesn't treat Reverse very well right after accidentally creating him, but of course Vanity's first time caring about somesmurf else involved his own reflection. This is as well his first time feeling guilty and internalizing the idea that other people, their thoughts and feelings, matter.

He'll never stop being vain, self-obsessed, and in general rather rude. But he isn't actually a narcissist and he certainly isn't a sociopath, and he gets better over time. A little better, at least.

Grouchy and Vanity fell in love because they sat next to each other on a bench.

Vanity spent the entire time talking about himself and complaining about things, not once looking at Grouchy.

Grouchy contributed to the conversation maybe a handful of times, each a proclamation of dislike for something rather than a response to what Vanity said.

Then they went back to their own homes... and returned the next day to sit on the bench again.

Grouchy doesn't want to have to talk beyond a few 'I hate _'s. Vanity doesn't want to focus on another person. Neither wants to be alone.

Vanity doesn't demand that Grouchy talk back, Grouchy doesn't ask Vanity to look at him. And neither is merely tolerating the other — the other is their ideal conversation partner, their safe space, the one person they don't have to change for.

Because they do have to change. Grouchy is overly depressed and angry. Vanity has intense issues connecting to others. They don't need to erase who they are, but they do need to change, and they will — but they still find each other the exact sort of weird they need.

Someday Grouchy will say 'I love you, Vanity' without even thinking about it. Someday Vanity will tell Grouchy he looks absolutely amazing without tying it into his own looks. It will take them a long time to get there.

But that's okay. Because Vanity doesn't need affirmation, he needs someone who's happy to listen to a three hour rant about skincare, all while not making eye contact. Grouchy doesn't need grand gestures of romance, he just needs someone who's willing to complain with him and exist with him and speak AT him without expecting reciprocity.

Neither is perfect, and improvement will be a long road for them. But for now, they are each exactly the sort of imperfect the other is willing — and happy — to work with.