90 sparksChapter 5: In Which Edward Adds More Members To The Group Chat
Update: BEST HALLOWEEN EVER! I wore a Riddler costume and got so many comments on it!! Someone even asked me for a riddle and I got to say one I made!!
Sticks and cloth for his skin and bone
Outstanding in his field
Feathers are his friend and foe
Fear his weapon and his shield
[Plant Princess Harley]: Guys guys Halloween is coming up!! 🎃🎃🎃
[Plant Princess Harley]: So Bats, do we get to show up to work in costumes or what?
[BruceTheBat]: So long as they aren't your villain costumes, sure. I don't see any problems with it.
[Dormouse]: FIRST PERSON TO MAKE BATMAN REGRET THAT STATEMENT WITH THEIR COSTUME IDEA WINS
[Royal Fool]: I wanna dress up as a sharknado
[Haigha]: I'm going as a living Jack-o'-lantern
[Hatta]: I suppose since my usual costume has been banned, I'll just have to go as a farmhand!
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Finally I'll get to dress as the queen I am.
[Plant Princess Harley]: I guess I'm going as a princess, then :D
[BruceTheBat]: How exactly are you guys planning to get these costumes? Our party fund is not that large.
[Dormouse]: Oh, we have our ways, Bats.
[Dormouse] added 1 member to group chat
[BruceTheBat]: Nygma what did you just do
[Mr. Cobblepot]: What the fresh Hell is this?
[Dormouse] changed 1 nickname
[Dormouse]: Ozzie, we need you to fund some things for us.
[Emperor Penguin]: Edward? Is that you? I thought you were stuck teaching?
[Emperor Penguin]: Oh I quite like that name
[Dormouse]: I AM stuck teaching. But Halloween is coming up and Batsy won't let us wear our villain costumes for it.
[Dormouse]: And since we've been forced into free labor, none of us can afford proper costumes.
[Plant Princess Harley]: Be a pal Pengy and help us have a little cheer in this dire situation.
[BruceTheBat]: Don't you guys think you're being a LITTLE dramatic?
[Dormouse]: No
[Plant Princess Harley]: No-pe :)
[Haigha]: You've made me believe in Hell again
[Hatta]: It's not that bad, actually, but it's no Wonderland.
[Nora's Husband]: Without Nora, all places are Hell. But this place particularly so.
[Royal Fool]: I'm happy so long as im near my Darling 🦇🖤❤️💜🤡
[Two For One Special]: What in the long time we've known each other made you think we'd be happy as a teacher, Bruce?
[Croc]: rlly not that bad
[Ready For My Close Up]: Yeah I'm having the time of my lives here!
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: These little snot-nosed brats have absolutely no concern for the environment and I hate them all.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: EXCLUDING STEPHANIE, KITRINA, AND DUELA OF COURSE
[Two For One Special]: You better as fuck be excluding them.
[Emperor Penguin]: I will not tolerate insults to my bloodline.
[Dormouse]: Uh yeah, no-one can hate Steph.
[Emperor Penguin]: As much fun as it has been seeing how my dear compatriots are getting along in their new roles, I'm afraid I simply cannot assist you.
[Dormouse]: What? Why not?
[Emperor Penguin]: It wouldn't look good for a honest businessman such as myself to go about donating costumes to villains. My apologies, Edward.
[BruceTheBat]: Oh please
[Plant Princess Harley]: Hey, now I can hear an eyeroll!
[Plant Princess Harley]: At this rate, I should probably get my ears checked
[Dormouse]: You have my apologies too, Ozzie
[Dormouse]: Know that you have forced my hand. I didn't want it to come to this.
[Emperor Penguin]: Edward whatever you're planning don't you DARE
[Dormouse] added 1 member to group chat
[BruceTheBat]: STOP ADDING PEOPLE
[Ms. Kyle]: Hello, what's this?
[Dormouse]: Selina, hey! Kisses!
[Ms. Kyle]: Eddie! Kisses!
[Ms. Kyle]: What's up, dear? How's teaching going?
[Dormouse]: Well enough, I suppose. No-one's been maimed yet, at least. And I must say, Kitrina is just a darling student, she's really made this easier.
[Ms. Kyle]: What do you want, Edward?
[Dormouse]: What, can't I just be friendly?
[Ms. Kyle]: Eddie...
[Dormouse]: We can't buy costumes for Halloween. I was hoping you and Oswald might be willing to help us out?
[Ms. Kyle]: Well, of course we are! What are friends for?
[Emperor Penguin]: Edward you traitor
[Ms. Kyle]: Hi honey! <3
[Emperor Penguin]: Hello luv <3
[Ms. Kyle]: Are we all getting nicknames? Why can't I set one for myself?
[Plant Princess Harley]: Only Bats and Eddie can change things in the chat.
[Ms. Kyle]: Harley, I LOVE the nickname. Is everyone here?
[Ms. Kyle]: Brucey, why haven't you said hi yet?
[BruceTheBat]: Hey, Selina.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Hey Cat.
[Ms. Kyle]: Oh my Gotham these keep getting better. Someone give me a nickname already! Ms Kyle is so BORING
[Dormouse]: Well, never let it be said that I let people go about being bored.
[Dormouse] changed 1 nickname
[BadassKitty]: Ooh, what'd you give me?
[BadassKitty]: Seriously, Edward? You can do better than THAT
[BruceTheBat] changed 1 nickname
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: I'm almost scared to see what you picked
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: Oooh! 😻😻😻
[Dormouse]: How is that better than mine??!
[Haigha]: Even Fries knows it's better
[Nora's Husband]: Actually I barely see a difference between them.
[Haigha]: Good to know. Guess I overestimated how much your apathy's lessened recently.
[Haigha]: Well, then even Jones knows it's better
[Croc]: thas tru i do
[Dormouse]: Fuck all of you
[Hatta]: Language language, Dormouse. I won't have such words within this house.
[Dormouse]: SHUT UP, JERVIS! I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT STOP POLICING ME
[Ready For My Close Up]: Um what just happened?
[Hatta]: I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't know my little joke was truly getting on your nerves. I'll stop.
[Dormouse]: Dammit.
[Dormouse]: I'm sorry, Jervis. Your joke is fine.
[Dormouse]: Ugh. Batman's nickname WAS better.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Wait, was that seriously what you just freaked out over, Nygma? The fact everyone thinks Kitty Cat Burglar is better than BadassKitty?
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: How sensitive are you??
[Dormouse]: I know, okay? I know.
[Dormouse]: I'm working on it.
[Emperor Penguin]: At least he apologized. When I first met him, Ms. Vance and Ms. Damfino were the only ones who could get a real apology from Edward without threatening him.
[BruceTheBat]: You've all come a long way, actually. Even Crane's opened up.
[Haigha]: YOU TAKE THAT BACK. I AM AS CLOSED OFF AND CRUEL AS EVER.
[Haigha]: I AM THE LORD OF DESPAIR, THE KING OF SCREAMS, THE GOD OF FEAR
[BruceTheBat]: Hey Tetch, how do you feel about Crane?
[Hatta]: He is my darling March Hare, the best thing to ever happen to me.
[Hatta]: I love him more than anything, and I will stay with him eternally. 🥰 🥰 🥰
[BruceTheBat]: No response, Crane?
[Haigha]: Shut up, Wayne.
[Hatta]: It's okay Mr. Batman, he doesn't have to say a thing. I already know how he feels, and it makes my heart sing! ❤️
[Plant Princess Harley]: Awwww 😍
[Royal Fool]: come on spooky ya aren't really just ignoring that r u?
[Haigha]: I hate all of you with the single exception of Jervis.
[Haigha]: Whom I love too, you ridiculous buffoon of a hatter.
[Nora's Husband]: How sweet.
[Ready For My Close Up]: I was gonna mock you, but if you got Vic's seal of approval then I guess I can't.
[Royal Fool]: Aw fuck I was looking forward to mocking em
[BruceTheBat]: Wait I just realized you all respect Fries.
[BruceTheBat]: Like, ALL of you do.
[BruceTheBat]: You guys don't respect ANYONE. Wtf?
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: There's a simple reason for that, Brucey.
[Kitty Cat Burglar]: Most of us would be dead right about now if Victor hadn't hit us over the head and said "no you may not tie yourself to a rocket engine" or "no riding a dinosaur is not worth the risk of dipping a T-Rex skeleton in a Lazurus Pit" or whatever
[BruceTheBat]: Please tell me you're joking
[Nora's Husband]: They are not.
[Nora's Husband]: My children are idiots, but at least Nora will love them.
[Emperor Penguin]: You know, this is pretty much exactly how I feel about Edward, actually.
[Emperor Penguin]: Like, he's a reckless fool who's given me far too many grey hairs, but at least the women in my life adore him.
[Dormouse]: I'd be offended if this wasn't so true.
[BruceTheBat]: I'm sorry, are we ignoring the part where Fries claimed you were his children?
[Haigha]: I gave up that fight after he had to talk me down from training crows to carry me on a platform so I could drop down on people like a spider.
[Haigha]: We are all children and he's the only adult who cares enough to keep us from eating the mud we found on our shoes.
[Gotham's Plant Queen]: Except for me. Unfortunately, I'm as responsible for keeping these idiots alive as he is.
[Dormouse]: She's like the mean aunt that sometimes hugs you but mostly just mocks your life choices until you cave and change your ways.
[BruceTheBat]: What the fuck kind of cult are you guys in?
[Ready For My Close Up]: Awww, he thinks he's not a part of it. How cute.
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PLEASE write more!!! 🤍🤎♥️❤️💙💚💛💜🖤🧡🩷🩶🩵🫀❤️🔥
It has been done! 😁 😁 😁
Happy spooky season! 🎃🎃🎃
🎃🎃🎃
The frozen-hearted mad scientist is all their dad, and the undead-tree feminist is their aunt. This should tell you how crazy Gotham is 😂
Seriously, amazing fic 😍, can't wait for the next chapter!
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed! 😁
This is a lot of fun! (I can't keep track of everyone and don't know a couple characters but that's on me and it's still soo good!!!)
1 Gothams Plant Queen - Poison Ivy
2 Bruce The Bat - Batman/Bruce Wayne
3 Dormouse - Riddler
4 Ready For My Close Up - ClayFace
5 Haigha - Scarecrow
6 Hatta - Mad Hatter
7 Emperor Penguin - Penguin
8 Nora's Husband - Mr Freeze
9 Kitty Cat Burglar - Catwoman
10 Plant Princess Harley - Harley Quinn
11 Royal Fool - Joker
12 Two For One Special - Two-Face
13 Croc - Killer Croc
14 Manny - Manbat ➖ Langstrom
Hope this helps!
Poison Ivy is a reborn feminist & plant activist, who has a poisonous kiss, that can hypnotize men.
Riddler is an obsessive genius, who dresses in green spandex, and does does crime and leaves clues. He also makes giant mazes, which he traps people in. He is obsessed with batman and showing his intelligence. He got cancer, cured it with the Lazarus Pits, and came back and became a villain. He has a ❓ shaped cane. His theme is question marks.
Batman is a rich man who saw his parents murdered when he was a kid. He left Gotham, trained for many years, and now fights crime in a bat suit (and keeps adopting kids/sidekicks).
ClayFace is... A giant pile of goo? He used to be an actor, and thinks his roles are who he actually is (schizophrenic). He can also shapeshift.
Scarecrow is an ex psychologist, who specialized in fear. He now dresses as a scarecrow and spreads his Feartoxin (a substance that makes you relive you worse fear, tho that varies depending on series), he also used to be a teacher, and it is a popular head canon that he taught Harley. He also hates Christians, and has religious trauma from his great-grandmother.
Mad Hatter is an ex neurologist, who went insane, thought he was the mad hatter, and that his coworker was Alice, hypnotized her, and speaks in rhymes (tho this writer usually tones down his worse parts, as well as other characters worse parts).
Penguin is a rich mobster? Pretty much the only non-insane rogue. He almost never gets caught, if he does he goes to an actual prison, not the asylum. The most successful out of all of them, if you ask me. He also runs the Iceberg Lounge, hotspot for crime in Gotham.
Mr Freeze is the saddest batman villain... He does crime to try and save his dying wife, who is currently in cryostasis. He is stuck in a survival suit? Kinda like a space suit, he is stuck in it, because he requires below freezing temperatures to survive (because of a lab accident). He uses technology to freeze things in his crimes. He is a cryogenics scientist. 🩵 His wife's name is Nora.
Catwoman is a cat burglar, who dresses as a cat. She flirts with batman a lot. She is very sassy. Her and Bruce (batman) were friends as kids. They both fall in love as Selina (her savilian identity) and Bruce, while fighting as Catwoman and Batman, not knowing each other's identities.
Harley Quinn was a psychologist at Arkham, with some mental issues of her own. She was assigned to joker, fell for him, helped him escape, and became a villain with him. She dresses as a clown (a Harlequin), and works with joker. She is basically the embodiment of cotton candy. She acts kinda like if you gave a child a bunch of candy and coffee, and then set them free in an amusement park. She is also good at acrobatics.
Joker is an insane clown. He was a low-level criminal, who worked for a criminal ring called the Red Hood, until they had him pretend to be their leader, batman fought him, and he fell in a vat of chemicals. He somehow survived, but lost his sanity. He is obsessed with batman (and in love with him). The accident bleached his skin, and turned his lips bright red and his hair green. He dresses a a clown (a joker) and poisons people with his joker venom (which in canon makes them laugh, and then kills them, tho in fannon people often soften that so that it just makes them laugh, or makes them go into a coma). He is Batman's greatest foe.
Two-Face was an amazing lawyer in Gotham. Trying to clean up the city. He was a friend of Bruce's. He also had split personality disorder. Through out high school and his adult life, he pushed down any violent or aggressive thoughts, which became Big Bad Harv. All of which he was able to hide and manage, until an accident happen, leaving half his body covered in scars, leaving him blaming the police and batman for this, and letting Harv out to play. Harv formed to protect young Harvey, but ended up becoming the scum he hated most. As they fight against each other, they use a special coin to decide who makes the decisions.
Killer Croc is... A deformed crocodile-man? Sorry, honestly don't know much about him.
Manny is Manbat ➖ Langstrom. He is kinda a character made by this author? (Tho taken from a real character?). Manny is very adorable, and basically a giant child. Everyone loves Manny. Cannon - Langstrom a scientist who studied bats. He experimented on himself, mixing bat DNA into his, turning himself into a kinda a giant bat. Bruce Wayne (batman) made a cure for him, turning him back into a human. Langstrom reinfected himself (on purpose), and turned himself back into Manbat. He was also mistaken as batman at first.
Hope this helps!
PS: most my understanding of this comes from fandom and my sisters ramblings. So, maybe take this with a grain of salt!
PS: my sister just told me that Langstrom did NOT purposely reinfect himself (depending on cannon the cure was faulty, it was a split personality, the stuff that turned him was addictive, or someone else reinfected him). I was thinking of creeper (a different character, who is basically mini-joker, and I like to change him so that he is Joker's adopted son). My bad.
Ohmygosh this is so amazing!!! (also THE RIDDLER WAS IN THE PITS?! WHAT?!) THIS IS SO GOOD! I feel like this should be pinned to most fannon works so those of use who just read the fics know what's happening!!! <3
Glad I could help 😊
I made it into a fic! 😊
https://archiveofourown.org/works/75081156
I'm so glad you like it! Thanks!
Yeah, with as big a cast as Batman as, this fandom really is a coin toss on knowing who anyone is 😂
I'd explain, but it seems like someone beat me to it... How kind. :)
OMG this is amazing!
Vic just coming in and fixing it 😂 he is ALL of their dad 😂
Please write more! 🥺🧐
Thanks! No more yet, sorry :/ Glad you enjoyed, though! 😁
One of the funniest things I have read in a while, speant a good amount of time laughing inbetween in each bit
Aw, thank you! I absolutely LOVE knowing I made someone laugh. 😁 😁 😁
(Previous comment deleted.)
Thank you! 😍
I'm glad you enjoyed it 😀
(Previous comment deleted.)
Ah, sorry, but no. People close to me have dealt with scammers, hackers, and even stalkers in the past, so I don't connect with anyone online unless I know them in real life. And besides that, I don't really use social media. I'm glad you like the fic, though! 😁
Those nicknames are diabolical. Also not a foc I'm gonna read in class I had to wheeze so hard so many times. I think my highlight was "the last of the waynes"
1) Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying and like the nicknames. I love knowing I made someone laugh 😊
2) What does foc mean?
3) Why do so many people read my fics during class?? 🤣
1) you're welcome 😊
2 I meant fic. My phone broke I can barely type anymore 😭
3) bc class is boring lol
Dang what school r they in
Ours still has chemistry equipment from a past country (no joke) and our sun system tables sill list Pluto as a planet.
Also I want Joker as chemistry teacher I'm bad at it anyway might as well die in school 😭
A very, very crazy school, is what they're in XD
Okay, so I was homeschooled and I knew school equipment is usually outdated, but I didn't know it could be THAT bad 😯
I'm glad you're enjoying the fic 😊
I love it
Where I'm from home school isn't allowed so I assumed my pain was universal lol
Can't be a public school that's for sure lol
It weirds me out that they can ban homeschool anywhere. Parents should have the right to teach their kids themselves. Formal, external schooling should always be optional, in my opinion.
It doesn't help that public schools basically all suck XD
Ok now I gotta ask what scarecrows nickname means. Mabye I'm nott American enough to understand?😭
Oh, right, I forgot that this isn't common knowledge — in 'Alice Through The Looking Glass', it's revealed that the March Hare and the Hatter have actual names: Haigha and Hatta.
1. How does Fries type when he has gloves on
2. ENSLAVING people as TEACHERS is just double cruelty someone call human resources or the un or whoever is in Charge for that
3. How is a mental asylum for the criminally insane worse than a public school (especially in America no offense)
4. Joker is right. Coffee isn't fun
i laughed so w my life at Harv's contact name 😭
The nicknames are the best part of a chat fic, honestly XD
Glad to know I made you laugh. Query: what does 'so w my life' mean?
Thanks for commenting! :)
NOT TWO-FACE TALKING TO HIMSELF KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
It's not Twoface if he's not talking to himself 😂
I'm glad you're enjoying! 😁
Lol, now I want an entire fic about the kids school group chat 😆
[Dormouse]: My friendship with Oswald may have involved a little bit of mild childhood brainwashing, but it's one I cherish nonetheless.
WTAF 😂😂😂
I love Eddie+Twosie SO MUCH! THEY ARE ADORABLE!!!
The amount of times I had to muffle giggles bc my spouse is sleeping probably exceeded once per chapter I love them <3
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